cafe chewy

last words

2005-05-19T10:10:00.000+08:00

The end of this blog this entry marks . Glad to have jotted down my life, my thoughts, my feelings, my frustrations on this journal for the past 2 years. BUT... The end it shall not be. I won't delete this blog unless blogger.com looses it. A cafe chewy version 2 there will be . In fact, there is. All these while if you have been reading ... and still want to read on, find it is all you need to do.

Right under your nose it may just be.

[Cham! I speak like Master Yoda liao after watching the digital version SW-EP3 at GV Marina]

Thank you ... whoever you are ... who had been reading all these while. Forgive me if it has not been encouraging to you at times.

Decommissioned officially...

Final bugle call ...

Bye ...

audio training

2005-05-17T17:50:00.000+08:00

Just returned to office from audio training in Tuas area. Quite a routine thing - first was the briefing of our committee's involvement, followed by organisational structure, sound systems to be used, catered buffet lunch and hands-on. Nothing new actually, but what captivated me was this all-in-one digital mixer console which was really a beauty to behold, touch and feel - aimed to make the audio programming and calibration work much more simpler and easier, and provide a better control over the quality of digital sound output... hmm, whatever.

Uncle Jimmy was present. He's the veteran player and his role is supposedly the consultant, but I won't be surprised if he starts dancing around the Padang and shouting to the main control room through his walkie talkie.. hahaha. We chatted a bit over lunch ... and yes, he misses Serene very much... can really tell it from his eyes that he really misses her. He's going to fly over somewhere later in September to pay her a visit. I really don't know what words to use to describe the feelings at that point of time .. but as I ponder, I think it should be called "FATHERLY LOVE".

Gym session later. Got to remove some fats naturally instead of lipo-suctions.

[reply to an email]

Seriously, if you read all my past entries, my england sucks big time ... coupled with a "barrage of yangtze/golden jokes", not really a good blog for the kids or youths to peruse. :P ..

See? Silence means consent... :)

and yes, I think you should know her.

Cheer up a bit lah ... here's some corny (read - corny, NOT horny) jokes I received from an email today ...

The updated Serenity Prayer:
"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves. Lord, help me also to be careful of the toes that I step on today as they may be connected to the feet that I have to kiss today."

**********

Of course Adam lived in Paradise. He had no mother-in-law.

**********

How long have been married, Mr Cheng?" asked his colleague.
"Twenty-odd years, twenty-ODD years," repeated Mr Cheng with a deep sigh.
"Why do you say twenty-ODD years?"
"Just wait till you meet my wife."

**********

Martha: Lucy, I heard your husband is in hospital. What's the matter with him?
Lucy: It's his knee.
Martha: I never knew he had knee probems.
Lucy: He didn't, until I found another woman sitting on it.

catching up

2005-05-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

It was a good time catching up with my niece, whom I shall address her as SL. Quite a lot of updates from her and though they were not so pleasant at all, at least, she's now moving on with her own life and leave the past behind. When I first saw her, she was limping. Then she revealed that she was admitted to TTSH for scanning days ago. They did an angiogram on her, inserted a catheter through her groin region up to her brain and found out she was suffering from arterial venous malformation which, for her case, was genetic. For specific reasons, some family members and relatives have this or died from this disorder. But I know I'm not genetically affected by it. Now she's trying to seek treatment overseas and hopefully she can settle down in NY to live her life. You see lah? what kind of uncle is this? niece in hospital also not aware. :P

But to make up the past, I hope we could remain in constant contact, and in future, fly to NY to visit her during holidays, and even attend her wedding if she finds her other significant half.

Seriously, it's weird talking about my family. By my nature, I don't mix around and I tend to keep away from them. It's sad to see the current state after getting the updates, but by not mixing around, it may just turn out to be a blessing in disguise for me. I had always asked Pa why I was born into this interesting household, but He just kept quiet. I guessed He has His reasons and plans. He will tell me in due time and if He wants to. I love everyone of them, but I could not do anything to help. All I could hope and pray is that my nephews and nieces are well, eventually happily married and have kids.... hahaha, a typical wish of an uncle. Well, at least I'm now in contact with SL, who is also in contact with EC (her cousin, my nephew) and recently found BenG. For my elder siblings, it will really require Pa to work a miracle in their lives.

Now, you see why I tend to be very envious of others for having a good old family nucleus... the father-mother-and-two-to-three-kids type of setup coupled with their grandparents from maternal and paternal?

[confirmation]

WooT! Isaac is getting confirmed this Saturday!! Congrats lor! :)

[still pondering]

Still working on version 2.0, still pondering if I should give up this old blog... hmmm....

shenandoah

2005-05-16T17:05:00.000+08:00

Actually, the bye is supposed to refer to this blog. Thought it would be nice to retire this old blog, start a new one and keep it "totally private" until someone manages to sniff it out ... But then, for some technical reasons, version 2.0 is still not ready ... and for some sentimental reasons, I still could not bear to part with this version 1.x ... should I part ?

Attended TJC Choir's performance at ACS Barker Road last Friday evening because Grace is a choir member. Nick and Caleb(S) came along to show their support too. Overall, they put up a very good show. Especially three broadways medleys - West Side Story, Miss Saigon and Phantom of the Opera - got dance actions too ... very cute, very funny and very impressive. But what really touched me was their rendition of "Shenandoah" .. it was so so so beautiful and touching that I thought I was in dreamland.

Grace was funny. The way she smiled to her "boyfried" on stage during the broadway medley... my goodnes, it looked as if she got a banana stuck in her mouth so as to promote Darlie toothpaste. Oops.

But that Friday night, I was super-duper pissed too. I didn't know what buttons I pressed, but my HP got "reformatted" and all those HP numbers on the memory chip were gone. Wasted the rest of the Friday night to update most numbers, update my appointments and calender. GRRRRR.....

I nearly wanted to take cover underneath some chairs or blankets during the youth service's sermon. Rev Victor Rodriguez's sermon was like a machine gun - really "fast and fierce". Nick and gang kept shouting "AMEN!" every time Rev Victor says "Amen?" ... everyone else were looking at them ... and I was sitting with them. Duh... Altar call was incredible. Almost the whole congregation came forth for prayer. Rev Victor just kept touching the foreheads of these people, and almost one by one got slain in the H/S .... amd us leaders were busy catching and lying them down on the floor. Very busy but very encouraged. Really, you could just sense the presence of the H/S everywhere.

Sunday was boring and tiring. PA duty in the morning and steamboat dinner with my mom to celebrate Mother's Day and her birthday in CBD area. Thought no one would go to that area on Sunday evening, but I was wrong. Still, we managed to get a table without reservations.

My body has been aching since Sunday night. Neck's aching, shoulder's aching, legs' aching, butt's aching... did not even sleep properly last night. I really need a good massage.

Tonight, I'm meeting my niece for dinner and some catching-up. People would probably think that she's my new-found galfren.

[fop2005]

Whoa! Got the pamphlet yesterday at CCW. Hillsongs and Delirious will be leading songs for all the three nights during the FOP2005!!!

bye

2005-05-13T23:50:00.000+08:00

back home

2005-05-13T09:22:00.000+08:00

Time really flies. Just bumped into Siew Ying while I was buying my morning dosage of caffeine from the canteen.

We worked together in one of the projects about two to three years ago when she was handling construction and I was handling IT infra. Quite a bubbly-chirpy-happy lady and quite meticulous in her work too. Then, she flew off to Stanford for 1.5 years of mugging in the books. And now, she's back home and got posted to the hills of Gombak to be a "hermit" for next two to three years. :P

Hey, she's a Defence Technology Awards scholar leh. Dun play play leh. Despite of her impressive dossier, she remains as a very kind, gentle, humble person. And she's still a youth leader in her church (also under the Diocese too)... another woman of God who chases after God's heart.

Welcome home, Siew Ying!

[consideration]

Hmm, time to consider closing shop and opening a new chapter... I think I should.

happy birthday

2005-05-12T17:06:00.000+08:00

It's 7 hours early to say this, but nevertheless, I shall say it now, in case I get too lethargic to type later tonight:

HAPPY 23 BRIRTHDAY ! GEZ!

Yup, you have grown and you are still growing. You will see a lot more things of this world which can be very disappointing, more changes in your life as time passes by ... but I know that when you continue to surrender your all to Him, He will guide you through your life with strength, wisdom, love and grace, bringing you to higher grounds. One year older, but one year better and wiser.

Hope you enjoyed the dinner, the coffee cake, and pulling-out-the-buried-candle-from-the-cake-with-only-your-teeth act ... :P

Hmmm, how did the gpp-gez thingy actually come about ah? Actually, I've not being a good gpp ... the One up there IS the ideal choice to that role, and you can minus the "g" in front. :)

[reflection]

It's not only gez, but others as well. Ray is now happily pak-tor-ing with JQ .... Matty is also happily roasting himself under the Brisbane sun besides burying under the books ... Zacky is still happily being tau-poked by his CG kids while learning and growing in Him, the CG kids are happily playing the role of the incredible catalysts to the white-hair "treatment" on my head...

That is good. God is moving amongst them too. :)

Me ? I can get ready to box myself up in the coffin.

[congrats]

Yes, congrats to you, Joseph. Today is THE day that you are no longer a bachelor before God's eyes as you tie the ceremonial knot with Tracy. May you and Tracy have a blessed marriage life and early-born-expensive-baby.

... and please cut down on the use of your "alternate" language, ok?

[moving on]

I'm going to give this a try. If it works, then I'll be back in Towers pretty soon.... or ....

big boss

2005-05-10T22:24:00.000+08:00

Ever since the reshufflement of my team's big boss, we always had arguments during our fortnightly team meetings. Today is no exception - "No, you listen to me", "You shut up", "who you think you are".(I'm numb with those phrases, might as well not have the meetings). Frankly, it get so heated up that everyone wished that he would not even live to see the daylight of tomorrow and goes straight into the hell of burning sulphur. Well, he's literally treating everyone, including those who are more senior in age, as dirtbags and dogs and there were sub-zero respect for everybody. Very petty, very kiasu, very vain. Now, the bulk of them are planning a revolt - to get rid of him permenantly by petitioning up to my company's big boss.

I believe that Pa is teaching me something here - something very obvious. First, bless and love and forgive the people even you disklike them or hate them for the rest of your life. Secondly, submit to the Authority assigned to you even you are a pariah in the boss' eyes. If you say that I'm crazy in thinking this way, I guess I am, but these are clear instructions from Pa himself. I don't deny that I dislike him a lot. I wished that he's not my big boss. I have known of his notoriety for a decade and I am already prepared to either bear with it or transfer out to another team... or even better, say bye-bye.

It's never easy. I'm still learning... and I don't know if I'll make it through successfully. I need a fuse that's has a length of infinity.

{motorola]

Got my motorola radio transmitter, complete with spare battery and charger from the Log OIC. Next week is audio training and working committee's briefing. One more month and we will start work.

Guess where I will be stationed ? Of all the places, below the staircase of City Hall entrance. Oh no, I'm going to be surrounded by many plain-clothed agents again.

Padang ... here I come.

[cockroach]

The crew member of McD @ HFC nearly screamed and jumped onto the table at the sight of the cockroach ... which was just loitering at the next table where I was sitting and typing this entry. Ok, fine ... so I used a tissue to catch the cockroach, placed it in the berrynice yoghurt cup (yes, that lao-sai yoghurt) and put the cover back. She took the cup, ran to the manager and showed it to him. Oh man ....

Anyone works in NEA ? Hahahaha.

challenged!

2005-05-09T15:44:00.000+08:00

"hey.. uncle alex and jiejie grace... this is the daily scipture tat i juz recieve i forward this to u.. so we can all learn together... the date is.. 9 MAY to 24 june.. maybe if we read it everyday we will have more knowledge in God.. and with this words , be a blessing to others..

I challenge U!!! Try to read it everyday.."

WOOO!!!!! This is the first time that 12-year-old Nick is challenging his CGL and ACGL to do this, man! PRAISE THE LORD !!!

Obviously, this shows that CGL never cho-gang one (hokkien translation for "work") ... until the sheep must poke-poke the CGL to work. See how sucky this CGL is? hahahaha..

Well, that's the type of sheep I'm looking for in the CG. Why is that so ? Because I can look forward to my retirement from shepherding this CG very very soon, and he can start taking over me!

WOOOOT ! :)

Hmm.. Did I mention that Nick is volunteering to lead CG next Saturday ? ... oh yeh! I can smell my retirement sooner than I thought ... :)

bye bye cwmc

2005-05-08T00:57:00.000+08:00

At last, I can kiss the course goodbye... :P. I did not quit but it's officially the last day and I got my cert which is only good for my bedroom, not for employment. Don't need to worry about assignments anymore too ... hahaha. But overall, it's a very good course. So here's a little advertising on behalf of Ken Chua, National Director for CWMC (Singapore), who happened to conduct our last session.

CONDENSED WORLD MISSION COURSE (CWMC)
Dates: Every Wednesday evenings (7.30pm to 9.30pm) between 3 Aug 05 to 21 Sep 05 inclusive AND 1 Oct 05 (Saturday) from 9am to 6pm.
Venue: Hakka Methodist Church (1-B, Evelyn Road)
Fees: $60 per head (inclusive of all materials)

All the things you need to know about the course can be found in http://cwmcsingapore.netfirms.com. Please make it a point to go. It's not just about information on missions being fed into your brain, but you can be transformed in the midst of it all.

Ok .. end of advertising.

God himself spoke to me twice - not with His own voice.

The first was during the reflection hours in the CWMC course when we were required to reflect on our contradictions which held us back in mission work. In the midst of it, I was prompted to take out and turn on my laptop ... and I found this donghaeng's infamous shockwave clip entitled "DUTY". I knew I could not bear watching it because everytime I watched it, it pierced my heart like a two-edged sword. But something in my heart told me to view and I did .... oh man, I was really holding and fighting them back.

The second time was through Ps Darren's sermon during the youth service. All that he said, every words uttered out from his mouth simply hit right at the right note ... and the feeling was as if when someone hits you on your face, you feel *ouch*. I have heard of sermons which was based on this passage many times, but nothing like this evening. Every bits of my memories, from the day of my birth till this day, came flashing before my eyes ... and I was holding back, fighting back. I'm still feeling the after-effects now. Still need some time to "get over it".

If you have to ask which passage was it taken from, it was the all-famous parable of the prodigal son.

I'm giving youth camp and CCW church camp a miss this year, because I've just enrolled into the Go4th Missions Conference.

running nose

2005-05-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

Running rose - a nose that runs.

My nose must have enjoyed running the whole of today. The watery mucus just loved to dangle out of my nostrils like a yo-yo in mid-air.

Once I reach home later, I'm going to gobble down 2 FEBS tablets. SNIFF SNIFF....

[sin city]

LATEST! Frank Miller's Sin City has been passed clean by Board of Film Censors with a R21 rating.

wake

2005-05-05T00:33:00.000+08:00

Another wake to attend. This time, it is ZC5's wake. I found out only from ZSM this evening on the sudden passing of ZC5. Apparently, he and his staff officers had a gathering in JB last weekend and they found him dead in the toilet in the midst of the "togo" session. As long as I knew him when he was ZS5, he loved to "togo" whenever he had the chance. Now, all his "togo sessions" cost him his life - leaving his wife and two nearly grown-up kids. Tomorrow is the cremation. His staff officers will be in full uniform, forming the pallbearers and performing the ceremonial drill.

Live your life to your very best as if this is your last day. Death is always lurking around the corner. You and I will never know when it would hit us.

And if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Saviour, this is the time for there may not be a tomorrow.

[settled]

Yes, it is released in Singapore today and most of the shops are selling it. Managed to get a copy which I can give it as a gift for next week. One task less to worry.

ache

2005-05-04T16:50:00.000+08:00

The aches on my shoulders are slowly giving me problems. Not sure if it was caused and aggrevated by the weights of the dumb-bells or my backpack which has my laptop and books in it, I had some trouble carrying my backpack over my shoulders last night ... could just feel the soreness and aches sipping in. Now have to resort to using the Japanese medical plasters for some relief.

If this goes on, I can forget about carrying my backpack and resort to those wheeled market trolleys used by the aunties ...

and I can also forget about carrying my future galfren through the wedding gate (whoever she may be ... if she shows up)....

I would need crutches ... I would need a motorised wheelchair ... (duh... what has these got to do with the shoulders ah ? .... hahaha, I siao liao already)

This is the sign of old age, man ! Hahahaha... Praise the LORD !

jackie pullinger

2005-05-03T15:39:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, I have read the book "Chasing The Dragon", a straighforward account of Jackie Pullinger’s life, and her experiences as a missionary within the well-known Walled City of Hong Kong - a place where you could find all sorts of vices, hard-core crimes, extortions and drug abuses ... a den which is completely "unspoken of" to the outside world.

Very moving, very heart-wrenching, very touching ...

And she is going to be the keynote speaker for Fever05 Grand Send-Off on 1-2 Dec ! WOOT!!!

The Fever 04 report is out! Read the newsletter and was quite particularly drawn to the article written by Siew Lee.

"Consider Methodist Girls' School. Perhaps you went to school there, or know friends who studied there. How many girls from this generation of students will go on to start schools and bring universal education to the poor in other countries?

Like their founder, missionary Sophia Blackmore from America. It wasn't easy of course. Pioneering something is never easy. Blackmore started what was then called the Tamil Girls School in 1887, in a shophouse along Short Street, with just nine Indian girls. Today, MGS is recognized as a premier school that has produced many generations of outstanding citizens.

That was her legacy. What will ours be?

Tan Tock Seng Hospital was built in 1844, "for the sick of all nations". It was named after Tan Tock Seng, for his generous donation and continuous support from his family in later years. The hospital went on to become one of the most useful of Straits Chinese institutions. So much good resulted from the generosity of one man who started out as a fruit and vegetable seller.

Will someone else reap a plentiful harvest as a result of your life?"

We don't need to perform big and mighty works in order to shake the whole earth. We just need to have a heart, not driven by personal ambition, but motivated and guided by "the power of God's spirit.. and the awareness of the indwelling Christ". No matter how small our contributions may be - it may just be feeding or clothing a young kid off the streets in the slumps - the little things we can do for God's glory, God can use you to touch many lives or raise up the new generation who chases after His heart, whether we may or may not live to see that happen ... I think that is when we have left a great legacy.

Hmm, it reminded me of what Rich Mullins did when he was alive.

It reminded me of Jackie Pullinger and her works in the Walled City of Hong Kong.

Hmm, it reminded me of the late "People's President".

Though sometimes it may be discouraging or even challanging, just be faithful with the little things you can do, offer them all to God and give Him all the glory.

And it does not matter if you are as young as 12 years old. God can still use you to make a difference in the lives of many and you may never know.

[side rant @ 7.06pm]

Hmm, I'm still performing very sucky with my modules. (Duh, what kind of English was that?) Feel so contradicting with what I wrote above. Lao Le... Bu Zong Yong Le... Mei Ren Yao Le .... Hahaha.... Haizzz.... Bleah...

Oh... never mind ... my brain got short-circuited after a long day's work.

nato

2005-05-02T21:29:00.000+08:00

no action talk only..

Sounds so familiar.. something that I must always learn to avoid. As I was recalling the past months on my involvement with the CG, one thing popped into my brain - call it God's prompting, if you like - it's so easy to teach the cell members on the "do and don't", but there's always a tendency for leaders not to practise what they preach. It's easy to verbalise, but to exercise what you teach will be a totally different thing. This is always so when we are not grounded properly in God's words, do not have a deep and intimate relationship with Him and do not have a vision of God.

I am being reminded ... I am being cautioned ... I better be fully aware of this.

[side rant]

Finally, I got to meet sandra, hiong's significant other half, at the dinner gathering last evening at Centrestage @ Marina Square. They were so warm and intimate, just like lao-fu-qi of 50 years (old husband and wife) ... hahaha.. :P

Also present were callan + karen, edwin, michelle, seks (who left early for dunno-wat reasons) and kok leong. Good time chatting away, catching up with old times and eating out heart out. Good old edwin is now back to his studies after serving his dues for the nation, and michelle is now a full-fledged teacher at a primary school ... no more barrista job at starbucks for both of them.

When it came to the issue of getting fat and the need to diet, callan brought up my hideous past to everyone. Can't remember exactly which year the event actually took place, "dehui and gang" with callan and me had a super-duper sumptious and filling meal at Sizzler in Suntec. Then, I ordered two scoops while passing by Andersen's ice cream stall. After crossing over to Starbucks at Shaw Tower, in front of the casher counter, I was complaining "very fat ah .... must go on diet ... eh, one blueberry cheesecake, please"... and I think I had a Iced Venti Latte too... :P

Hahaha.. die lah... very malu, man! Nowhere to hide my face already... eh, did I leave out any other details ?

zombie

2005-05-01T01:26:00.000+08:00

I felt like a zombie today. Though I had the morning to rest at home (and popping by the nearby Alexandra Post Office to collect a parcel), I was really very tired .. legs neck, shoulders ... almost every part were aching... you name it, I have it. But thankfully, I managed to survive through the day.

Had my second last lesson for the condensed world missions course ... was literally stoning in there, though I knew I should not be doing that. I could not help it... not that I wanted it, but I was mentally exhausted. But throughtout the course, I learnt quite a fair bit of stuff - from the origins of mission based on the Bible, to the history of missions over the last 2000 years, to the cross-cultural aspects and the type of roles we can play in the area of missions. I told God in prayers, that if He wants me out there, I will go. I know this will be a great test for me to leave my regular-income job behind me if He does that ... and by then, I really do not know if I will be willing. But, I made that in my prayers to Him, in my conversations to Him. ... I prayed I will, and I hope I will.

I have this retirement plan - leave my job, set up a cafe and start swatting flies everyday ... hahaha ... ok, the flies part is lame, it's supposed to be more like a meeting point to fellowship, to praise and worship, to have cell group, to have bible study, to reach out to people who have not even heard of how deep, how high, how long and how wide is the love of God for EVERYONE of us. I don't mind if I do not complete my course becase it won't matter if I were to embark on this retirement. But I do not want to turn this into another comfort zone such that I'm not willing to bulge if God were to call me out of this retirement plan to go do something else. I need to pray over this - His blessings to let me do it .. His providence on the capital setup and funds to tide me through the losses which may be incurred during the initial stage of operations ... and His wisdom on the skills to cook and make coffee like the barristas in Starbucks. Bottomline is that if this cafe thingy is not in His plan for me, then I won't do it.

Tuition Saturday did not get to see the daylight of next Saturday... hahaha.. the kids were so restless and "unprepared" to do this. They were told to prepare questions which they could not tackle but they did not really do it. Asking them what questions they have and most of them were like "dun have leh ...". Of course not, almost everyone were dying to kick the ball on the open field outside the church. Haizz, once again, why am I not surprised ? But, it was a good experiment .. a good start, though not successful. Will have to do some moderation to engage them before the PSLE begins. And as usual, none of them brought their time-tables down, despite all the naggings and emails. That is it. I'm not going to ask them anymore. If they are keen, they can email me the details. Other than a general prayer, I will NOT pray for them specifically on the days of the papers, because I don't have the data. Period.

Normally, my modus operandi is this - I will say once and I will not repeat myself. They don't catch it and that will be none of my business. And They jolly well take up the responsibility to shoulder all consequences when they come along. I know it sounds harsh ... but sometimes, there's a line to be drawn and they have to learn to respect that line.

Nicholas and Caleb fought during the start of the service ... took me and Leonard to seperate them away just in time when the praise and worship began. God, I am sure you can see and know the number of white hairs that are on my head ...

Nicholas and Jon "volunteered" themselves when ps beeling asked for volunteers... they re-enacted the first part of the scene on the Parable of the Talents (Matt 25:14 -30) .. Ps beeling gave Nicholas a $1 coin and Jon, $2 coins. Elizabeth was the third volunteer who got $5 coins. They were supposed to invest the money in God's work .. to multiply them and report to the congregation one month later. Then, she told them to report to the cell leader on the progress of their investment... I quickly ducked for hiding in between the seats. :P

And yes, finally met Selwyn again after 5 to 6 years later. He used to be in my Pre-Teens class in the late 90s... studied in ACS and then, went off to Poly to do his mass comms course. Saw him performed as solist for violin on one of the concert back then ... now, I think he's still fiddling with his violin. One thing for sure, not only has he grown, he's bubbly chubby !!! Still pops by his blog to get update on him, but he did not know that since I've stumbled upon his blog, I've been quietly reading his "life" until today. hahaha... Keep in contact, bro.

Ok.. that's it for now. Getting very light-headed ... got to zzzz... Not getting any younger, you know..

berrynice

2005-04-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

Yum Yum,
Berrynice,
eat too much,
go lao sai

This is one of the lamest poem I have ever concocted while slurping down the berrynice yoghurt at HFC's McD. Thankfully, it's opening till 12 midnight on Fridays and Saturdays.. found another place to mug and nuah..

But seriously, call me stoopid if you like, but I really find it very hard at getting my engine running to mug for my course.. Maybe I should not even be doing the course after all.. maybe I'm not getting any younger and I should be focusing on setting up a family unit (a wife and two kids).

Dunno lah... feel very sucky now at this very sucky issue, see how it goes lah.

Blame God ? NO WAY!!! Don't ask me why... because He's blameless in every way. It's me who is to be blamed for screwing everything up.

Die .... feel like lao sai already... arrrgh. :P

white hair

2005-04-28T10:43:00.000+08:00

Another few more strands of white hair today. My systolic and diastolic measurements also upped by another mark of mmHg too. If this goes on, I will be lying in a 6 feet wooden coffin in no time.

Time to open cafe
and swat flys everyday?
Time to buy an urn
and book a vault in the columbarium ?

Hey, they rhyme nicely ! :P

tuition saturdays

2005-04-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

I call it "Tuition Saturdays" when the kids will bring their questions to the cell meeting on Saturdays (be it English, Maths or Science) and see who can help to solve them. Grace shall be the lead tutor while I sneak off for a cuppa coffee... oops, cat is out of the bag .. bwahahahaha. Anyway, it will only be for two Saturdays before normal cell group sharing resumes. In this way, I can still engage them to attend the Youth Service and not giving them much excuse to say no.

It's so hard to get hold of their exam time table. They just cannot even remember to email to me and Grace (.. or they chose not to?). All we wanted is to pray God's blessings and guidance over them using the schedule as a guide, not to plant bombs in their school on the day of their papers mah... haizzz...

Starship Virgo was on the docks this evening and HFC was once again bustling with life and crowds. Saw quite a number of the crew members from the ship loitering around - probably that only few hours they could get to savour the joy of being on land before they are being stranded on the seas once more for another few more days. Imagine they stay on board for a long period with uniforms and all meals provided ... and I heard that once they were to go on leave, they will really go for a long stretch (say 3 months or so ?) ... wow!! it's definitely a good place to save up money for retirement, but not so good if you have a wife and kids back home ... or the ship were to suddenly sink in the middle of the ocean ... :X

[interesting discovery]

After 6 weeks into the Condensed World Missions Course, I got to discover that one of my coursemate happens to be Nick's dad. Even better, both of us are under the same discussion group. And come to think of it, Nick and his dad really look so much alike though their characters are sort of on the "east and west" ends. But, this is even much better, his dad still doesn't know that I am Nick's cell leader... :P ... wah! wat kind of cell leader is this, man !!!!!

Ok, enough junk talks ... back to burning some more midnight oil ...

not finished

2005-04-26T18:03:00.000+08:00

hur.. still haven NOT finished my assignment yet and I have another one due this Friday.. Oh great! Praise the Lord !!!!! WOOOOOT! (Do I sound ironic here ?)

Not really easy to work with my new big boss after a recent higher management reshufflement. My direct boss and I can feel the pressure coming in very strongly. It's not so much about the workload (that's nothing at all), it's about his working style - wanting us to play the role of a "big bad mama" by holding and squeezing the necks of the members from other system teams to produce the required output on time, makes us feel very uncomfortable. Yes, I believe everybody needs to get their work done completely and punctually. I also believe that demarcation of work scope has to be clearly defined so everyone understands their role and responsibilities. But the "big bad mama" approach - tough, mean, show no sympathy, "that's your problem, not mine" attitude - is just simply off board, though his intention for us is to cover our own butt and not suckered into problems if any teams fail to work.

I have always practiced some form of "give and take". You help me out to complete the job done on time, I will help you in other areas of difficulties as long as it is within my means ... but now with this ... haizz..

Anyway, I'm not surprised. His reputation is known by many for many years.

If you know what I'm talking about, please keep me in prayers. I need His wisdom and guidance in getting my work done and not ended up being cold, ruthless, unsympathic, thus making "enemies" with my fellow colleagues.

[backdoor]

The news was out last Friday afternoon and there's going to be a big R coming up ... got to make some backdoor plans because the second R may just be show up around the corner.

[mcd @ hfc]

That place became another hideout for me to mug and clear my assignments... very quiet other than those nights when Star Cruise docks at the cruise centre.

Eventually, God who made the earth and heavens, and breathe life to every beings on this earth, the same God who is love, whose nature is always gracious and merciful, is also the same God over my work, my struggles, my life ... my bosses too. Another level of learning process for me, I guess..

And thank you, hiong ... it's Zhang4 Mei2 Zhu3, by the way. :)

Ok, back to my assignments before McD closes for the night at 11pm ...

done for

2005-04-24T21:21:00.000+08:00

That is it.. I'm done for, I'm screwed. After struggling for past days, they still look so horribly greek to me. Old man at my age really shouldn't even be touching the books anymore - brain cells don't even function as powerful as the Energizer batteries freshed from the factory. White flag up, man.

lunch

2005-04-24T20:56:00.000+08:00

I think the story which I've heard, goes something along this line ...

One day, bro Joseph went out of shophouse office to buy lunch. While walking towards his regular-partronised mixed-rice food stall nearby, he met this old poor lady. He had seen her before. He could remember her very vividly because, at one time, she was doing her private business openly by the roadside while he was also on his way to lunch. As he passed her by, he felt a nudge from God, "buy her lunch". At that moment, his heart was thinking, "are You sure? buy lunch for her? I don't have that much money on hand already". When he reached the food stall which sold mixed rice, instead of asking what dishes he would like to have, the stall owner asked him "How many packets you need today ?" Joseph knew the answer. He replied "Two, please".

On his way back to the office, he did not meet her. He asked God "would I meet her again? what should I say to her if I meet her and give her the food? ..." God never answered. He thought he had heard the voice wrongly because he did not bump into the old lady during his return. But the moment he reached his office and was about to open the entrance into the office, she showed up from a few shophouses down. He got nervous. And when she reached his position, he just gave the old lady the lunch pack. The old lady replied in Hokkien, "thank you. You know I have not taken my lunch.."

Back in office, Joseph asked God on what He was trying to teach him. God told him, "I was just looking for someone to buy her lunch."

Sometimes, we get so tight-fisted with our money that we tend to miss out the little things which we can do to bless the people around us. Do we allow God to take the little that we have on our palms to bless others or do we shut them tight and keep them to ourselves? Eventually, the "little" that we have on our palms ... actually belongs to God too.

God had His palms opened to us - He gave us Jesus openly.

bits and pieces - 21 apr 05

2005-04-22T01:54:00.000+08:00

This entry is really going to be in bits and pieces ..

Spent the whole day at the cisco security seminar which was held at the convention centre @ suntec. Well, they gave me and other colleagues some complimentary ticket and they got free lunch too (slurp slurp).

Out of the whole day, half the time listening and half the time stoning away in the lala-land .. thanks to the speaker's hypnotic tone. But all attendees got this goodie at the end of the day from cisco - a $99 targus bagpack for souvenir. WooT!

Seminar was supposed to be two days affair, but I could only go for Day 1. Got staff conference on Friday afternoon at Singapore Polytechnic Auditorium .. biggest boss may announce another round of re-org. Seriously, I'm terribly numbed with this ... terribly bored and numbed.

For some reason, I sprained my right foot .. can't even recall how it happened. Hmmm...

Spent the rest of the evening at Bras Basah's McD to clear my assignment 2 ... the questions looked so greek to me ..... cham lah... hahahaha, this old man's brain is really getting useless and rotting away. Well, Praise the Lord !

released

2005-04-20T22:38:00.000+08:00

The exam timetable has just been released. Turned out that the 2 modules are being scheduled at the end of June.

I was thinking of applying leave from 15 to 30 June - 15 to 18 June to attend the Go4th Conference and 20 to 30 June to prepare for my modules. But I have also just found out that I am being appointed as covering officer for my other colleague who will also be going for his approved leave from 20 - 28 Jun.

oh darn ...! haizzz... see how lah...

12th friendster

2005-04-20T08:39:00.000+08:00

YEH!!!! Just added my nephew, Benji .. or Ben with a G, into my friendster profile.. :)

He's my number 12th friendster ... sounds like the 12th of the 12 disciples (bwahahaha ... sorry lah, my brain doesn't function that properly in the morning, especially before my usage dosage of caffeine from the canteen). But definitely he's not my number 12th nephew (he's my third nephew in line by birth).

WooT!

super-bored

2005-04-19T16:50:00.000+08:00

I'm terribly and seriously bored now. Not that there's no work or assignments to do, but I just simply have no mood. Maybe it's just Tuesday blues after all. Entertain me with some of your best antics and cheer me up, will ya?

Decided to leave a message to a long-lost chap in Friendster, don't know if he remembers and even if he does remember, will he want to reply? One thing for sure, this uncle here really suxs big time at building relationship and communication channels with all his nephews and nieces.

[many hours later ... ]

He replied all the way from the other half of the world. Well, hope this will be, at least, a good start .. to make up lost time.

[only one life]

by author unknown

Two little lines I heard one day, Traveling along life's busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in "that day" my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgment seat;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God's holy will to cleave;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e'er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, 'twill soo be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say, "Thy will be done";
And when at last I'll hear the call, I know I'll say "'twas worth it all";
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

decision made

2005-04-18T16:32:00.000+08:00

This is it. On this very day, the Parliament has agreed to go ahead to build two integrated resorts with casinos at Marina Bayfront and Sentosa.

This decision will go into the books of Singapore's history.

Why am I not surprised at all?

thank you for loving me

2005-04-17T00:40:00.000+08:00

by tommy walker

Verse 1:
What love the Father has lavished on us
That we should be called His sons and daughters
Precious in His sight
Greater love this world had never seen
When He hung on that tree
O why would He do such a thing
For dirty sinners like you and me?

Chorus:
O God thank You for loving me
When on the cross You made history
Lord You died for me
Forever my praise will go to Thee
O God thank You for choosing me
To be Your child and bear Your name
O Jesus I will never cease to sing Your praise

Verse 2:
Your love is patient and humble and kind
It's greater than all my sin
It always protects and trusts and hopes
And will have no end
It's Your love that lifted me up from the depths
Set my feet on a solid rock
With a firm place to stand
Lord I always will trust in Your loving hand

Bridge:
How wide how long
How high how deep
How endless is Your love for me
How wide how long
How high how deep
How endless is Your love for me

Ending:
Thank You for loving me
Thank You for loving me
Thank You for loving me
Thank You for loving me
Thank You for loving me
Thank You for loving me

alternative

2005-04-16T09:46:00.000+08:00

I gave up with the CDs. The ones I borrowed on Thursday night still gave me the same problem ... seriously, I was alraedy on my wit's end and had zero clues on what to do until I saw the option to install via http. I thought that could be my only option whether I liked it or not, or whether the version was going to be the same. Took me the whole of last night just to do that downloading and installaion ... at least, it's working now ... but got to fix the stoopid screen resolution problem .. how to change the resolution from 800x600 to 1024x768?

Now I'm now feeling very "seh, like a super-zombie ... and later in the day, I'm going to have a world missions course, CG session, youth service and rushing my assigment for the non-linux module ... and tomorrow morning is PA duty in CCW, and rushing my assignments again ... hur, can kiss my sleep goodbye.

Help me to thank You no matter what happens ... and make my fuse longer, or whatever.. I just don't want to chomp the heads off my buddies and gez because of that.

Off to prepare the CG materials ...

nightmare

2005-04-14T13:36:00.000+08:00

Not referring to the nightmare during my sleep, but the nightmare of having to reinstall the debian sarge into my laptop after replacing its hard disk. I was trying to reinstall that software for twelve times, and I could not get it up because the second CD kept giving gave me this error message "Attempt to access beyond end of device". It was just like the first time when I had to reinstall that darn software for many times before the process was successful after many tries .. but now, that dreaded experience is coming back.

Seriously, I hated it and I was, and still am, quite pissed because I still could not get it up and the next assignment is going to due next weekend. Felt like chewing off every heads I could find within my radius of two metres just because I could not get that darn linux up. I know that was not an acceptable and right attitude I got, but that's what I really felt like doing last night without even going through my brains... duh, what brains ? (it's just a punt joke, k?)

I really have a very short fuse. I just don't know what to do ... ok, fine .. I'm stoopid, but teach me how to thank You again and again despite of all these failures.

Got to go to the west area tonight to borrow another set of CD and try the installation again ...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.........

bits and pieces - 12 apr 2005

2005-04-13T01:12:00.000+08:00

[tax returns]

This MyTaxPortal is very interesting .. there's actually nothing much for me to do except to click on the submit button to have my returns submitted. For now, I need to verify one of the items first before I submit. Though the new dateline is 30 April, I better try to clear this by the 15th.

[wedding bells]

Just received the red-bomb in my mailbox. It's wedding bells for cheemun and tracy on 12 May ... just around the corner of gez's birthday.

How long did I know cheemun? I guess it's as long as 10 years when I first knew him at the defunct McD's Balestier Point which used to be his and my study hideout... a place where there was a jukebox and I would end up spinning songs like Chen Sheng's Feng Zheng and Sylvia Chang's "Ai De Dai Jia" 10 minutes before closing time at 11pm ... so often until the McD crew could just memorise and hum the songs behind the counter ... hahaha.

Anyway, the rest became history ... and now, he's going to be happily married to tracy who is actually a very sweet lady. Good for him... good for him ... she really helped to tone him down in terms of his temper and his language, if you get what I'm saying ... :P

[george verwer]

Quite an interesting talk which George Verwer gave. He showed a powerpoint presentation slides on Cambodia, then he went up to speak. First half of his speech spoke about his life in OM, how OM has transformed, the people who have left or are still around ... quite a bit of the history lesson there, at least that's how I perceive. But the second half focused on the Parable of the Samaritan - not about the priest, the Levites or the Samaritan, but on the man lying by the road.

Who is this man we are talking about ?
It could be anyone like you and me .. but coming from the mission's perspective, particularly the countries from the 10-40 windows, George focused on a specific group of people:

- children at risk
- Abused women
- Extreme poor (not something new but something which most people neglected)
- HIV, Full-blown AIDS (not necessary through sex, but could be through blood transfusion ...)
- People without access to pure water
- Unborn babies who are killed through abortions

... and I believe that the list goes on. Not to be specific and may not be applicable to you who may be reading this .. but to give a very general viewpoint, not many Christians are going out to make an impact on the lives of these people .. be it physically involved in the contact work or prayer and financial support at the backend. Some are comfortable in their little shell called the church, getting spiritually fat and praying to get themselves a ticket into Heaven while many more people who have not even heard of the gospel are going to hell. And there are just some Christians who would just cut off contacts from people who are not Christians ..

When are we willing to move out of our comfort zone and reach out to the men, women and children who are lying by the road, injured ?

If we don't, who will ?

God has given us that task to reach out ... His words in the Bible say so... in fact, the Bible is also all about missions ... starting from Genesis all the way to the last.

[to the grandparents]

Dedicated to all the grandparents out there ... spoken by George Werwer who was quoting Tony Campolo ... "Grandchildren are God's gift to you for not killing your own children" ... duh... funny, but quite true.

[thanks]

This is for Callan who would pop in here every now and then .. thank a lot, man, for the debian component package... let me partition my lappy first and get the debian installed first.

time of the year

2005-04-12T02:07:00.000+08:00

It's the time of the year. Trust me ... I hate it ... especially all the hassle of digging out all the past year statements and documents, sorting them out and start declaring them. It used to be very troublesome, especially with all the assessment forms which I had to fill up and then manually mail them out with all the statements and documents. but now, it got better and much easier in the declaration... everything goes online. But still, I hate it...

And just when I was about to login to IRAS eFiling, the server was down for some technical maintenance... why was I just not surprised ?

No choice ... settle it tomorrow night before I have to repeat that cycle same time next year.

This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor - Romans 13:6-7 (NIV)

[ringtone]

Like to use this localised version of ringtone for your handphone ??? Well, I'm using it ...

[lame joke received via sms]

Hubby came home from church, lifted his wife up and carried her around.
Wife: Did the priest tell you to be romantic?
Hubby: No! He told me to carry my own sorrows.

ms d

2005-04-11T01:44:00.000+08:00

Popped by OCL around noon time to look for a book on dummies for debian linux users and I saw Ms D on duty behind the counter... someone who was once my supervisor in the then-Central Lending Lib in Stamford Road which was later known as CCL. 15 years since I last saw her and she still looked the same... perhaps more haggard. Thought she had retired from her many years of service in the library field. Did not say hi to her, not sure if she could still remember me. Just that "accidental bumping" alone sparked off a lot of memories which I had long buried them behind, as I was leaving the library. Kind of a mixed feelings ... on one hand, I'm glad I had a good time there ... on the other hand, I missed the opportunity of being a librarian as my lifelong profession.

One thing for sure, my past regrets will always be part of my memories as long as I live. It's just that I cannot allow them to overwhelm me and weigh me down for the rest of my days. God has already given me the freedom, set me free from all guilts and shame ... it's now my decision to choose - to thank the Lord for everything good and bad that has happened to me before and look forward to how best I can live my life for Him ... OR I can choose to live in that shell of full of regrets, full of pains and refuse to set myself free.

I would rather choose the earlier ... with that little time left, I can still give my best shot and live it to the fullest for His glory.

You can do the same if you want to ... because God who is so full of love, grace and mercy, has also set you free to live life to its fullest.

[side rantings continued]

And yes, let's encourage and edify one another ... and I thank God that there's still so much I can learn from you. Eventually, the gracious Heavenly Pa is the ultimate and the best-est Pa you have in your whole life.

And whenever you are sad or things in your life do not go the way you would expect, always remember this song:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full, in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

wheelbarrows

2005-04-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

Quoted in The Devil’s Gauntlet, Os Guiness

Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev used to tell of a time when there was a wave of petty theft in the Soviet Union. To curtail this the authorities put up guards around the factories. At one timber works in Leningrad, the guard knew the workers in the factory very well. The first evening, out came Pyotr Petrovich with a wheelbarrow and, on the wheelbarrow, a great bulky sack with a suspicious-looking object inside.

“All right, Petrovich,” said the guard, “what have you got there?”

“Oh, just sawdust and shavings,” Petrovich replied.

“Come on,” the guard said, “I wasn’t born yesterday. Tip it out.” And out came nothing but sawdust and shavings. So he was allowed to put it all back again and go home. When the same thing happened every night of the week the guard became frustrated. Finally, his curiosity overcame his frustration.

“Petrovich,” he said, “I know you. Tell me what you’re smuggling out of here, and I’ll let you go.”

“Wheelbarrows, my friend, “ said Petrovich, “wheelbarrows.”

Dr Mahesh Chavda was in town as the speaker for coos' spiritual hunger conference. I did not take leave and attend because of work. Today, he spoke at the 4pm healing service which was jammed pack with people ... spilling over to the staircase and outside the sanctuary. Because urbanRace supports the church's regular healing services, there was no youth service today and my cell group session was to attend healing service.

Simply to summarise, the sermon is all about Faith. Simple message which I have heard it year in and year out ... but still find it profound. In this world where there are so many distractions and anxieties that gravitates us to the ground, it is so easy for us to forget about our faith and trust in God... even when we are Christians ... because it's so much easier to have and exercise "faith and trust" on things we can see with our eyes. When we see the little problems before us, our faith foundation gets swayed and we forget about the bigger thing that is already in control. Just like the guard who focused on the sawdust but not knowing that the thief was stealing wheelbarrows.

What is faith ?
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Heb 11:1)

What do we do ?
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12:2)

Without faith ?
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Heb 11:6)

Does this mean when we have faith, God has to work to our expectations? If so, then our faith is based on our personal motives or agenda which we want God to fulfill and not because of what He has done for us on the cross or His will.

Abraham did not get to see his future generations which were as many as the stars in the sky ... but he believed in that covenant that God has made.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. (Heb 11:13)

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. (Heb 11:39)

Faith involves beliving and the act of obedience according to what God says ... not just by listening alone. In His time.. not your timing, "God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Well, that led me to think that whatever may happen to the spiritual growth of my cell members as time goes by ... only God knows ... and I can only commit them to Him while I do what I have to do. For me, no matter what happens, I am still learning to remain faithful to and believe in Him all the days of my life ... even if I don't get to live till tomorrow.

I think I've said enough .. not easy to articulate all my thoughts. I know all the pointers are so mixed up and incomplete... Sorry. If you are looking for answers to your life problems and challanges.. this is not the place to search ... it's Jesus you should be looking and focusing on.

[side rantings]

Get kind of pissed off and irritated very easily nowadays ... just don't know why ... And I felt I've not been a good mentoring figure to kiddo... sorry, kiddo...

one night only

2005-04-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

And now, here's a commercial break ...

Hi

You're invited to spend a "ONE NIGHT ONLY" missions meeting with George Verwer, founder of OM International in 1957.

Date : 12 April 2005
Time : 7.30 - 9.30pm
Venue: Covenant House, 110 Race Course Road.

This is just a few units away from MUTHU CURRY, which is on 116 (i think) Race Course Road. If taking the MRT - you can come out from Little India, Exit E. Ask anyone in this for the direction towards MUTHU CURRY.

Admission : Free. Bring your friends along. No limit.

Light refreshments will be served after the meeting.

Purpose of meeting : George will speak on missions, something 'from his heart'.

See you there.

No need to reply. Just come.

Moses Lim
Director, Recruitment and Training

End of commercial break ... if you are in Singapore and you have that evening to spare, it will be good if you can just go and listen to what he has to share from his heart about missions.

Anyone care to join me ?

repaired

2005-04-09T01:41:00.000+08:00

At last, I got my lappy fixed up. Supposed to be a 2 hours express but ended up waited for nearly 3 hours at the service centre. The acer people replaced by hard disk with a new one, but will charge me at 300-plus dollars if I want to take back the old one. Don't know what they want to do with it, man ... recycle and install it into another person's lappy? They installed a new WinXP into my lappy... now got to figure a way to partition the hard-disk and install debian linux..

Mr B was discharged from CGH today ... now got to re-plan my movements for Sunday ... get myself stuck in Science Hub and do a bit of tanning by the pool, then do my assignments ? ... sounds like a good idea to me.

And nope, I'm not going for the dinner thingy tomorrow night ... don't want that stoopid cupid to pop out of nowhere and start shooting love arrows blindly.

nuahing @ simei

2005-04-08T00:44:00.000+08:00

Of all the places, nuah in Simei ? If I were to be in Simei, it's either one of the following - I'm there for lunch or dinner after site visits or meetings in Changi OR I'm there to meet up with old airport kakis OR Mr B is in CGH ...

Mr B got admitted to CGH about 2 days ago and I only got to know it through Callan who sms-ed me in the afternoon. This time, it's not his depression or bipolar disorder but cardiac problem. Took me one and a half hour just to get to CGH from office and by the time I got there, I had only 30 minutes before visiting hour was over. Callan was there earlier and both of us "cheered" him up... well, sounded more like teasing him or irritating his guts out.

For example ... "You want us to bring fried chicken wings or donuts ? can ... we will bring and eat in front of you while you are being strapped to the hospital bed .."

You should have seen the expression on his face and the way he showed his Digitus Medius (or Digitus "Valgarious" - you won't find that word in the dictionary - dehui coined it while he was still in med school). We just did not want to be "too serious" because he's already in a depressed mood. At least, it kind of helped to break that mood and cheer him up a bit with our nonsensical conversations.

The nurse was connecting up all the ECG pads on his body to this micro ECG reader. Got to take a look at its display which shows the graph. Normally, a normal ECG graph will have a shallow P-wave, followed by Q-point, R-wave and S-spike (the QRS complex) and the shallow final T-wave" ... ok, never mind if you don't get it, but that generally represents a normal heart beat of any human being. For Mr B's case, his S-spike and T-wave went missing.... literally missing ... could not be seen on the reader .... uh oh ....

Only Pa knows what's happening and why ....

Dinner with Callan at EastPoint's Sakae Sushi ... and coffee at Starbucks, while he was very kind to troubleshoot my debian linux on my acer lappy. First and foremost, I need to change my hard disk... it's really going to crash anytime soon. Because he has been playing with linux for more than a year, all the jargons he mentioned or explained were totally greek to me ...

But hey, thanks a lot, man, for spending some time with my lappy.

[team 5 dinner gathering]

I don't want to go ... it's potluck dinner gathering this Saturday evening at some ulu part of Singapore and I won't have time on that day to prepare any food stuff. If it's a cheapo buffet at some cheapo place, I don't mind ... I still can sneak a tupperware in my bag... :P

[congrats]

It's kind of overdue ... a congratulatory note late by 2 to 3 days. Oh well ...

Brandon has finally emerged into this world on 5 Apr @ 1825hrs weighing at 3.3kg ... and his proud parents are Ben and Kah Lai.

CONGRATS !!!

[daily bread - 7 apr 05]

I love this day's devotion ... I love what it says though it's never easy ... and whatever struggles you may be experiencing in life, it may just be God's way of moulding, building and shaping you up.

Are You Struggling?

Read: Hebrews 12:1-7

Consider Him who endured such hostility . . . , lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. —Hebrews 12:3

I was in my second year of widowhood and I was struggling. Morning after morning my prayer-life consisted of one daily sigh: "Lord, I shouldn't be struggling like this!" "And why not?" His still, small voice asked me from within one morning.

Then the answer came—unrecognized pride! Somehow I had thought that a person of my spiritual maturity should be beyond such struggle. What a ridiculous thought! I had never been a widow before and needed the freedom to be a true learner—even a struggling learner.

At the same time, I was reminded of the story of a man who took home a cocoon so he could watch the emperor moth emerge. As the moth struggled to get through the tiny opening, the man enlarged it with a snip of his scissors. The moth emerged easily—but its wings were shriveled. The struggle through the narrow opening is God's way to force fluid from its body into its wings. The "merciful" snip, in reality, was cruel.

Hebrews 12 describes the Christian life as a race that involves endurance, discipline, and correction. We never get beyond the need of a holy striving against self and sin. Sometimes the struggle is exactly what we need to become what God intends us to be. —Joanie Yoder

When God allows His chastening hand
To give us little rest,
His only purpose is our good—
He wants for us His best. —D. De Haan

We experience God's strength in the strain of our struggle.

voucher

2005-04-07T11:46:00.000+08:00

My ex-big boss just popped by my desk early this morning and handed me a piece of paper. My eyes and jaws dropped. It was not a golden-handshake letter. It's a $100 Takashimaya voucher ... and I thought everyone in my programme will get one of this and it turns out that only 2 person have been selected for it.

Seriously, I don't deserve to have this voucher.

In fact, give me pay rise and I'll be happy ... :P (chewy, don't you get greedy!) ... hahaha, I'm just joking.

But really, seriously ... other colleagues deserve to have this reward more than I do.

Felt kind of funny and odd...

For now, I will leave that funny and odd feeling aside first and thank the Lord... then reflect ... This is definitely, not by my works, but by His grace after all.

ndp05

2005-04-06T10:23:00.000+08:00

It's a celebration on Singapore's 40th year of independence, comprising:

Parade @ Padang
Carnival @ Marina
Celebration @ Heartlands

I remembered during last year's NDP, the reserve PC who will be taking on the actual role this year, had this "little smile, coupled with a l** l**" look on his face when he remarked that NDP05 will be at Padang and it will also be junior Lee's first year in NDP as a PM "l** l**" is a hokkien term for ... hahaha, for you to figure it out). Stressful for him, man!

click here to start the celebration.

bits and pieces - 5 apr 05

2005-04-06T01:09:00.000+08:00

Quite a tiring day in the office ... had 2 consecutive meetings in Changi before returning to office to sort out some stuff. Just that the thought of changing my job kept surfacing into my mind lately ... it may just be a need for me to change my job scope before I'm technically stagnant, or it may just be leaving my current job to embark on my early retirement plan which I had been toying about since 3 years ago during my last in-camp training in Sungei Gedong Camp - something which gez brought up during the dinner this evening ... and coincidentally, it was exactly that same concept... the e-cafe thingy except that the "e" does not stand for electronic.

I ate too much ... like a big fat oink oink.

I talked too much ... like a naggy old man whose jaws would just chatter ceaselessly all the way to the coffin.

No wonder I'm still single ... :P

And to reiterate from my earlier entries, I'm honoured to be able to witness your growth, to see how Pa is working in you and through you ... press on, do your best ... for Him and Him alone.

And we shall keep the 11th free. :)

[daily bread - 5 apr 05]

Where Is Your Trust?
Read: Jeremiah 17:5-10

Let's be honest. Are we always able to trust ourselves in everything? Even the apostle Paul said emphatically about himself, "I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified" (1 Corinthians 9:27). He wouldn't trust himself to do the right thing unless he kept his body under strict discipline.

Today's Bible reading reminds us that "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9.) It is not possible for any of us to fathom the extent of the deceptions of our heart. How then can we ever trust ourselves or anyone else completely?

Jeremiah warned the last Judean kings against placing their trust in earthly kings (vv.5-6). But they continually sought help from Egypt. How foolish they were! They should have repented of their wickedness and returned to Almighty God for His help.

Where can we put our trust for help in difficult and uncertain times? God's Word tells us that those who place their trust in God are like trees planted by the waters. Even in drought they will not cease to bear fruit (vv.7-8).

Let's trust God to produce fruit in our lives. - Albert Lee

to : tim rust

2005-04-04T14:36:00.000+08:00

Hi Tim, just happened to read the comment you posted under one of my earlier entries..

http://www.haloscan.com/comments/cafechewy/111233337404516845/

Actually, it so happened that I discovered the testimony of Wilson Matthews from the web that I thought of sharing this out... but what you shared bore some similarities which I have gone through before and still "coping" with it ... learning to care for others, but "couldn't accept that people cared about me".

And I really like what you said in your last sentence ... "At some point in our lives we need to ask ourselves what drives us, the only answer should be God".

I'm very encouraged. :)

If you do not mind, I would like to add you into my prayer list ... though we are living half the world apart ... but in His family, we are closer than we can imagine.

Don't mind if I link your blog here , bro?

the way to permenant faith

2005-04-04T13:49:00.000+08:00

Don't know if it was the food or the coffee, but I had a "good" time diarrhea-ing in the toilet late last night. Now, my stomach and "exit point" are still feeling super sore and soggy ...

CHEWY !!! you are so crude in your description, can't you be more demure in your usage of words?...

hahaha! ... sorry lah... just stating the facts .. :X

Now, I'm trying to reinstall the debian linux into my lappy because it's taking too long to boot up. In the midst of doing it, I discovered my hard disk is having an error which could just crash on me anytime... Got to get it up fast and start on my first assignment and tutorials for second module and second assignment for my first module which are going to due in 2 to 3 weeks time ???

But in all these, I am learning to thank the Lord with a joyful heart... well, I'm still learning and I will have to learn as long as I live...

In general, I admit it's not easy to do that in the midst of circumstances which may just tear apart all your emotions, thoughts, feelings... but no matter how difficult it may be, it's when we learn to focus on the Lord and all that He has done for us on that cross, all the circumstances which we are going through, are just nothing compared to what He has gone through on the Calvary.

As Rich Mullins once sang this song (which he wrote it):

I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

You may say I sound like a crazy nut ... but that's what 1 Thes 5:16-18 (NIV) says ...

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Live and learn...

I know these circumstances are small - diarrhea only mah .. or just that the lappy could not boot up linux properly mah ... they are just nothing compared to people who lost their jobs, or lost their loved ones ... I fully, completely, totally agree with that point ... they are just so small and minuscule. To me, if I do not learn to give thanks to the Lord for all the small bits and pieces of circumstances, pain or rejections in my life, I don't think I can learn to thank Him when circumstances get even harder or more difficult for one to physically cope with.

And that could just be one of the ways God leads us to permenant faith ...

(extracted from My Utmost To His Highest - 4 Apr 04 devotion)

Jesus was not rebuking the disciples in this passage. Their faith was real, but it was disordered and unfocused, and was not at work in the important realities of life. The disciples were scattered to their own concerns and they had interests apart from Jesus Christ. After we have the perfect relationship with God, through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, our faith must be exercised in the realities of everyday life. We will be scattered, not into service but into the emptiness of our lives where we will see ruin and barrenness, to know what internal death to God’s blessings means. Are we prepared for this? It is certainly not of our own choosing, but God engineers our circumstances to take us there. Until we have been through that experience, our faith is sustained only by feelings and by blessings. But once we get there, no matter where God may place us or what inner emptiness we experience, we can praise God that all is well. That is what is meant by faith being exercised in the realities of life.

". . . you . . . will leave Me alone." Have we been scattered and have we left Jesus alone by not seeing His providential care for us? Do we not see God at work in our circumstances? Dark times are allowed and come to us through the sovereignty of God. Are we prepared to let God do what He wants with us? Are we prepared to be separated from the outward, evident blessings of God? Until Jesus Christ is truly our Lord, we each have goals of our own which we serve. Our faith is real, but it is not yet permanent. And God is never in a hurry. If we are willing to wait, we will see God pointing out that we have been interested only in His blessings, instead of in God Himself. The sense of God’s blessings is fundamental

". . . be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" ( John 16:33 ). Unyielding spiritual fortitude is what we need.

bits and pieces - 2 apr 05

2005-04-03T11:14:00.000+08:00

Today is the "official opening" or the inauguration of urbanRace's youth service.

Prior to that, cell group with the youths. Call it a blessing in disguise, Ps Bee dropped in to the cell.. and being a super tai-chi master, I managed to get her to lead half of the sharing and nic got her to close in prayers... and she just obliged to do it so willingly... :P.. well, I think it was good so that the kids wouldn't be bored of the two usual blockheads (me and Grace) every week. On the other perspective, I think it was God's intended plan too, for me to learn from beeling on her style of leading and sharing with the kids of this age.

Talk about beeling, her fiery love for God, her drive and passion for the youths ... one can literally hear the cry out from the depth of her hearts. She just reminded me of the couple, the late Ps Philip and Serena when they were leading the youth ministry in the 80s and when beeling and I were one of the youths then. I saw that same fiery love for God, the same drive and passion for youths ... and I vividly remembered Serena told me 20 years ago, that she would pray for me to "come back and serve" to Youth Ministry .. and throughout these two decades, I saw myself keep swinging back to this area despite of short breaks in between. Once in a while, I'll bump into Serena in church .. and whenever I see her or beeling in action, I would just somehow be inspired or charged up.

Serena, if you happened to stumble upon this blog and be reading this ... I thank God for you everytime I remember you or see you. Thank you for that prayer.

I got one more person to thank for ... Esau, if you are reading this, be it from Singapore or New Zealand ... thank you, big bro. :) .. you are the bestest youth cell leader I have ever known in my life ... so patient and so open. If I were to share my heart out, you are the only one whom I can very openly do that with.

And if I want to have a life-partner, I would love to have someone like beeling's category... though some people say I cannot cope... I don't know, only Pa knows.

... which now brings me to the Youth Service Celebration or the inauguration of urbanRace's youth service. It was a simple and yet symbolic event. Started the opening with the guys doing percussion act with drums or pails or what-nots, and the ladies dancing with tamborines ... then praise and worship ... Then, beeling and glenn gave a historical account of the urbanRace and sonic edge ministries ... how both were seeded, and through years of struggles, how they sprang forth and to this day both ministries are now coming together. Especially the urbanRace, how some leaders perservered to sustain and uphold the ministry (she once nearly got emotionally choked while citing), how Ps Derek confessed to the church at the turn of the century, that he had neglected the youths... while concurrently on left side of the stage, some youths did a symbolic act of building up an unfinished wall with bricks amongst the rubbles. Once beeling and glenn finished their account, they each placed a brick on that wall and left the last piece for Ps Derek to complete the whole structure before he gave his sermon entitled "the living stones"..

That reminded me of Isaiah 61:4

They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

Ps Derek used 1 Pet 2:5 as his sermon ...

you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Everyone is a living stone to be used by Him to build His house .. we are part of this big house which God is building, with Jesus as the cornerstone. To be a living stone, we need to have the following:

Foundation - to build ourselves upon His word, to build up that intimate relationship with God.

Form - to be willing to be shaped by God for His purpose, to fit with other living stones in our lives (and we don't get to choose who we fit in with ...)

Finishing - got interrupted by one of the kids ... duh, what was Ps Derek saying ?... hahaha ... OOPS :X .. but if I were to quote it from dictionary, it is the "decorative texture or appearance of a surface" ... which could refer to us being His light to the world (that's at least my interpretation).

At the end of the sermon, we went out, took a paper-card brick (a postcard with a brick printed on it) from the "old-timers" of youth ministry (I got mine from Serena .. :) ), to place on the wall, to pledge to build up that wall which is part of the big house that God is buidling.

A symbolic gesture to declare ourselves as a living stone.

[the pledge of a living stone]

As a living stone, I will:
- Read the Word for at least 10 minutes everyday
- Share the gospel with at least 5 friends
- Be committed to attending cell and be ready to serve.

[jesus, all for jesus]

Pa always plants this song at the "right" time and I know I could not help it whenever this is being sung ... and it happened again during that service.

Jesus, All For Jesus
by Robin Mark

Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.
Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands.
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands.

For it's only in Your will that I am free,
For it's only in Your will that I am free,
Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.

[nic and caleb]

I think Nic is going to be my regular dinner-kaki after the church service with Caleb ocassionally dropping by, if his mom is not around to pick him up.

broken things

2005-04-02T09:35:00.000+08:00

[extracted from our daily bread - 1 apr 05]

I am like a broken vessel. —Psalm 31:12

Few unbroken lives in this world are useful to God. Few men and women can fulfill their hopes and plans without some interruption and disappointment along the way.

But man's disappointments are often God's appointments, and the things we believe are tragedies may be the very opportunities through which God chooses to exhibit His love and grace. We have but to follow these lives to the end to see that people who have been broken become better and more effective Christians than if they had carried out all their own plans and purposes.

Are you, my friend, being broken today? Has the dearest thing in your life been torn away? Then remember that if you could see the purpose of it all from God's standpoint, you would praise the Lord.

The best things that come to us are not those that accrue from having our way, but by letting God have His way. Though the way of testing and trial and sorrow often seems hard and cruel, it is the way of God's love and in the end will be the best for us.

Remember, we have the Lord's promise: "No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly" (Psalm 84:11). —M. R. De Haan, M.D.

Then trust in God through all thy days;
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime, we'll understand. —Cornelius

For a Christian, wholeness always comes after brokenness.

an empty, frustrated and depressed teenager turns to Jesus

2005-04-01T13:25:00.000+08:00

[extracted from http://www.southasianconnection.com]

a testimony by Wilson Matthews.

Wilson is the youth leader at International Punjabi Masihi Church in Vancouver, Canada. Everyone loves this radical preacher's passion for Christ and His Church. Wilson helped organize the South Asian Global Convention (SAGC 2004) under the leadership of Pastor Pritam Singh. He is as "hairy-as-a-yak," "spits-like-a-camel," and is a F.A.T. (Faithful, Available, and Teachable) Christian. Wilson holds a BA in Biblical Studies from Trinity Western University and his mission is to make Scripture relevant to today's generation. Famous quote: "Knock it off!"

The path I took towards my current occupation of full time ministry as a Christian youth leader is hardly an expected or conventional one. Instead, it lead through very troubled teenage years when I rejected God and came close to taking my own life. I know now that the turn around that I experienced after that could only have come through Jesus Christ.

I grew up in a nominally Catholic home in a mining town called Thompson in Manitoba, Canada. My mom always taught me to read my bible and pray every night before I went to bed. It was a habit that I kept until my teen years.

-- Troubled Teenage Years --

But as a teenager, I questioned my faith in God. I used to see so much pain and suffering in the world and wondered how a loving God would allow so much turmoil to exist. There was starvation in Ethiopia, a war in the Middle East and natural disasters afflicting the innocent. The thought of an all-powerful God who had the power to change all this but chose not to made me bitter and angry. I made the decision at the age of twelve that God didn't exist and broke my habit of prayer and bible study.

However, after making this decision, I fell into a deep depression that took away every ounce of fun and joy in my life. I could no longer find pleasure in the simple pleasures. I became lonely, isolated and withdrawn from my family and friends. In high school I was an insecure teenager, searching for some kind of identity. In spite of my rejection of God I still found myself searching for meaning, value and joy in my life. Listening to satanic music was the only way I was able to express my frustration and bitterness at how corrupt the world was. This still didn't make my life better or more enjoyable by any means. It made me withdraw within myself and kept me feeling scared and depressed and, at times, even suicidal.

Being a part of a South Asian community from Kerala called Malayalees, I used to take part in cultural events. However, I found that I'd fall short of the cultural norms expected of me. The community would point out my lack of good looks, education and stature. The rejection I experienced from the community and in high school sent me deeper into depression. I just felt so confused and couldn't find the answers to some basic questions, like Who am I? Why do I exist? What's the meaning of this life? Why should I even bother living?

-- Turning Back to God --

Things changed in high school when I was introduced to a Christian who would later turn my life right side up. My Christian friend took me right under his wing. He showed me care, sympathy and acceptance. He challenged what I believed, particularly with his seemingly counterintuitive statement that all my dreams and goals would still be empty even if they were fulfilled. This compounded my sense of despair until he told me about having a relationship with Jesus. One day I just broke down and couldn't take it anymore. The longing for identity, peace of mind and hope reached its climax. I told him that I couldn't do it anymore and that I needed something to take me through this wretched life. He made me read out some Scripture and I experienced a peace like none before. In time, the depression, suicidal tendencies and feelings of rejection were lifted. Instead I found peace, relief and purpose.

Since then Jesus has blessed me with a Bachelors in Biblical Studies from Trinity Western University. As a Youth Leader, I've seen Him change lives of children and young adults. And now I'm seeing God do a radical work among the Punjabi community here in Canada. God has also allowed me to be a part of the South Asian Connection, which is doing a ground-breaking work to meet this largely un-reached people. Life has never been more exciting than when it's lived for Jesus!

interview with rick warren

2005-04-01T13:21:00.000+08:00

I believe God has His timing in everything we do in our life .... and receiving an email on this article is no exception at all.

In an interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life: The goal is to grow in character, In Christ-likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believ'e that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people...You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instanfly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.

I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for you to own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan - to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better...God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

lame jokes

2005-04-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

Received two super lame jokes on my handphone...

Joke 1

A sardar in front of a shop started scratching his body. A man observed him for 15 minutes and asked him the reason. Then, he saw the signboard which says "Scratch n win".

Joke 2

Angry china-man entered shop and shouted: WHERE'S MY FREE GIFT WITH COOKING OIL ???
Shopkeeper: No gift with this.
China-man: Oi, bottle got write "Cholesterol Free"

[vincent]

Bumped into Vincent (another ex-colleague now working in IDA) during the afternoon tea break TechNet seminar and we had a short chat. To keep it short and sweet, he divorced from his wife because for past few years, he was struggling to keep his job and make ends meet while his wife felt that he has married to his PC and felt neglected too.

Don't want to comment who's right or wrong here ... but what came to my mind was that relationship requires a lot of communication, open heart-to-heart sharing, give and take, sacrifices on each party, acceptance of each other's weaknesses, constant showering of love and encouragment for each other ... most importantly, God must be at the centre of any relationship ... God must be at the centre of their lives.

Bickerings, arguments ... somehow, they come as part of the package.

Interestingly, Vincent has been going around visiting some churches .. which was not commonly heard of previously... and next week, he's joining one of the teams from NCC to Phuket for some logistics distribution programme ... probably another one of the Tsunami crisis relief reconstruction efforts. I believe that Pa will touch his life and bring him to the other side ... in His time.

Maybe I can get him to entertain my CG kids ...

[blogger.com]

Of late, I noticed that it's easier to login to blogger.com and blog during the day, rather than at night ....

[side rant]

It has been an honour, to be able to witness this kiddo growing up everyday, learning to be more like Jesus, chasing after God's heart and in turn allowing God to pursue after him ... and to see him leading his sheeps, helping them to grow in their daily life and teaching them to be more like Jesus and chase after God's heart.... I'm really comforted and happy for him, to see how God has been working mightily in his and his family life for the past 4 years, and to this day, He still is (though I barely know him for less than 2 years..)

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3

Jia you, kiddo! Press on ! :)

bits and pieces - 31 mar 05

2005-04-01T00:53:00.000+08:00

[on the night of 30 mar]

Skipped the CGL's bowling session organised by Glenn at SAFRA Mount Faber. Firstly, it's not convenient to get there from my office and secondly, the clubhouse is so close to DTT that I would always find DTT people loitering there after office hours. Nothing against them but I don't want to bump into them because whenever that happens, we would somehow end up discussing office work ... it had happened before and it still happens.

So, what was my program to let my brain slack a bit ? a long-overdue hair cut in Chinatown and a long-overdue movie entitled "Hitch". Well, it's a nice and funny movie.. but anyone tries to introduce me to a love doctor, the tooth fairy will need a wheelbarrow.

Had a first long chat with Jen for the rest of the night via Skype. Well, we wanted to use MSN messenger but somehow, the audio was not working. As of now, she's happily serving her 1-year stint in Japan and she really doesn't want to return to Singapore, albeit the standard of living is kind of steep. She daringly left her well-paid $3000+ job in my company (yah, she's my ex-colleague) and answered the call of God to go into the field. She did not go immediately to Japan but helped out in ministry back in her church for about a year ... and she never did regret for a single moment. There was a colleague who initially asked her why she quitted so soon, but later on, commented that she made the right choice of doing so ... it sounded like my company isn't a good place to work .. well, especially if you are not a scholar.

[31 mar]

Spent the whole day in Suntec attending the free Microsoft Technet seminar. Because of the chat with Jen which lasted until nearly 4am... my eyes were like panda for the whole day. It's a real challenge to keep myself awake trying to listen attentively to the security evangelists - Steve Riely and Jesper M. Johansson, rattling away on IT security. Just like another yao-guee, we were hoping for free lunch .. but nah... no free lunch.. but got free tea breaks. Hahaha... I sounded really like a scrooge.

Rushed back to office after the Seminar just to do one thing - submit my claims from flexi-benefits for the new webcam, the new wireless SDIO card, the new ADSL wireless router. Otherwise, my $600 entitlement from previous year would be forfeited after this day.

Spent an hour in the gym to work off some fats ... but ended up gaining them back during the hotpot dinner with Mr B, callan, dehui and his gang at Liang Seah Street. Seeing them grow up from the time they were in Sec 1 (and that was in the year of 1992), one by one are starting to soar in their career and happily getting hitched.

Dehui - potential other-half is also a doctor. Because he's a doctor and currently serving his housemen duty in SGH's Renal Ward as a houseman and doubling up as MO and Registrar. One more month and he will be the property of SAF for next 12 years.

Seks' - never asked him on what he is doing... not sure if he's still in SCS. But during the dinner, he declared that his potential other-half is from Mei Chin Secondary and we thought she's a minor... :P. And of course not.

Hiong - happily declaring himself as CEO of Thinking Pictures Asia. Don't know who's his other half .. or should I say, not yet.

Callan - one year their senior. Yes, he's happily legally married 2 mondays ago.

Mr B - well, as long as he doesn't revisit Ward 14 in CGH.... all of us will be very happy.

Me - ... uh... duh.... just like what Dehui once commented about fur-ball's philosophy - just wait for her to drop down from the sky. hahaha... yah, super lame excuse...

Good night .. time to concuss.

wrigley's orbit

2005-03-30T13:38:00.000+08:00

Gnawing 2 pieces of chewing gums in my mouth right now. I got three packets of chewing gums and nope, I did not buy them... they were given by Joel who got them for free from the local distributor through his faculty and was "clearing stocks" two Sundays ago. All of them expire on 8 April. The description on the packs is also quite interesting :

Wregley's Orbit - XYLOTOL for healthier teeth with Calcium Lactate
* Specially formulated with Calcium lactate, it helps to remineralise tooth enamel and form protection
* Chewing Orbit Sugarfree Gum after every meal can stimulate the production of saliva, which can neutralize cavity-causing plaque acid and help prevent tooth decay.

Sounds like I can just skip brushing my teeth for next few days..

backdate

2005-03-30T03:21:00.000+08:00

[submitted]

Finally, I've submitted my assignment via online. Could not get the required version up and running, so had to "downgrade" the OS to a lower version. Not really completed all the questions in the given assignment but can't afford to delay the submission any longer as marks are being deducted once past dateline. At least, I can take a quick breath before the next one due in two weeks.

For now, I need to get the wireless network card up and running..

[the p6 kids]

What can I say about them ? they are rude, super rowdy, super noisy, hyperactive, playful, can be a pain in the "place where it makes the grass grows green" ... climb over your head and diarrhea. They can literally turn your passion into a chore, wishing that the hour will just pass like a speed of light and the next session would not come till 100 years later.

But yet, in the midst of these, there's the other half of them which are still learning to chase after God's heart.

They are still growing up...

And God is teaching me to be patient with them.

Had a good dinner session with Nicholas after the youth service last Saturday. He's one of them, but when Ps Bee Ling told me about how he once reacted when someone threw the Bible on the floor by someone else... Whoa, this kid is not simple. And he's the first one who suggested cell outing in June ... and prior to that, I was already toying with that thought.

[the bridge]

21 years ago, I crossed the bridge to the other side where I received Christ and God was there waiting for me.

Last weekend during the "resurrection service", I crossed the bridge again. But this was really a bridge which was built on the stage for the congregation to physically make that public declaration ... either to receive Christ, or to be a bridge to other people in our life, or to leave all the past hurts and pains behind. Mines was the last one.

Then I realised later, the bridge will always be there even after crossing it. God has literally given me this decision to make - I can choose to cross back to other side or continue walking and not looking back at the bridge.

And many of us tend to keep crossing the same bridge many times ... why ? because a part of us may not be keen to give up certain past which were meant to be left behind.

Never mind if you don't know what I meant.

[earthquake]

I felt the tremor in my house just past midnight last night and it was quite a fierce one as compared to the previous ones I've felt.

I thought, "Oh no... Sumatra is having another earthquake again ?"...

And true enough, I was proven right by the news.

This is the end times which we are living in and earthquakes are just somehow part of it ... and we should not be surprised by it at all. It's only where and when they will occur.

Another round of crisis relief ?

grrrrrr

2005-03-26T01:59:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I'm not in the best of my mood for this whole week. Too much things have been happening at one go and I just don't know how to go about journalling it... I don't think I even want to write them down or think about them. But the most irritating experience was having to install Debian Linux into my lappy and I had already been doing this for the whole week ever since I got my installation disks flown in last weekend. Best of all, I still could not get it up and running. Even at this point of time when I'm blogging, I'm still reinstalling the OS and whatever questions the installer is prompting me on the screen, they look completely greek to me. Want to hear the even bestest news ? my assignment which requires me to have this Linux installed, dues on Monday. I must be the dumbest sucker in this whole world.

OH GREAT ! Now, my Epson printer ran out of ink just when I need to print some stuff for Isaac. Funny ... I just replaced with a new ink cartridge just last month and I printed only a few sheets...

I'm fuming mad !!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....

a bumpy road

2005-03-21T13:57:00.000+08:00

Who ever says that life as a Christian is always smooth and full of roses? If it is always that good, do you think you would still need or desire God to be the Lord of your life?

[extracted from Our Daily Bread]

A Bumpy Road (Philippians 1:27-30)
21 Mar 2005

To you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake. —Philippians 1:29

When people tell me life is hard, I always reply, "Of course it is." I find that answer more satisfying than anything else I can say. Writer Charles Williams said, "The world is painful in any case; but it is quite unbearable if anybody gives us the idea that we are meant to be liking it."

The path by which God takes us often seems to lead away from what we perceive as our good, causing us to believe we've missed a turn and taken the wrong road. That's because most of us have been taught to believe that if we're on the right track God's goodness will always translate into a life free of trouble.

But that's a pipe dream far removed from the biblical perspective. God's love often leads us down roads where earthly comforts fail us. Paul said, "To you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake" (Philippians 1:29). When we come to the end of all our dark valleys, we'll understand that every circumstance has been allowed for our ultimate good.

"No other route would have been as safe and as certain as the one by which we came," Bible teacher F. B. Meyer said. "If only we could see the path as God has always seen it, we would have selected it as well." —David Roper

If some darker lot be good,
Lord, teach us to endure
The sorrow, pain, or solitude
That makes the spirit pure. —Irons

No trial would cause us to despair if we knew God's reason for allowing it.

weekend rant

2005-03-21T13:35:00.000+08:00

Escaped from the overnight cluster fellowship at Ps BL's house and the Youth Leaders retreat over the weekend at Changi, but could not escape from the last-minute PA Duty in CCW (Victor caught a bad flu) on Sunday morning and doing my course assignments.

In fact, Ezra and Isaac also could not make it for the overnight fellowship... Isaac has his upcoming common test .. and Ezra missed his bed ? hahaha. So, we had a dinner fellowship at the hawker centre after the youth service cum BB 61 Coy's enrolment service and it was still a good time of fellowship. Interestingly, over the past 2 days, Ps BL had this thought of "retiring" from her work... and I was also pondering of "retiring" from my current job which I had survived for 9-ish years. Well, see how things go. I just don't want to retire and ended up not knowing what to do next or ended up being out of sync with His plan and timing.

Nothing much on Sunday ... fiddling with my course assignment for the rest of the day.

See how boring my life can be .... ?

(birthday)

To little baby David Mak and to Gideon - happy birthday to yoooou.!

in memory cum dedication

2005-03-20T03:15:00.000+08:00

I was comtemplating of making a simple presentation using the trip photos but was stuck at what background song to use. Then when I happened to be reading Barbz's blog and heard the song being played in the background, my heart said "that's it!!!".

And so, here it is ... this presentation is dedicated, in memory of the asian tusnami disaster victims in Sri Lanka ... and to the members of Sri Lanka Team 5 (Batticaloa), CRS Singapore.

To God be the glory !

Right-click HERE to save it to your PC and watch it offline ... and you will need a realplayer to view it.

[ When I Survey (The Wondrous Cross) ]
Word/Music by Isaac Watts
Sung by Kathryn Scott

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

Forbid it Lord, that I should boast
Save in the death of Christ my God
All the vain things that charm me most
I sacrifice them to His blood

See, from His head, His hands, His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were a present far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul
Demands my soul
Love Demands my soul
My life my all

iso audit

2005-03-18T10:44:00.000+08:00

Siow liao!

My project is eligible for auditors to pick for the ISO9001:2000 audit on early next month. I just hope they don't pick my project, otherwise I will have more white hair by the time the audit ends.

trip reflections - part 3

2005-03-17T17:44:00.000+08:00

Now, where was I ? ......

* Pastors *

Ps K - our host in Town B. Very nice man ... and very busy co-ordinating with the relief work at the grounds. While we were there on second day, he was also playing host to a team from Germany who were building 28 number of tentages. In the midst of all his busyness, he was learnig to come to terms with the loss of his wife and two other elder daughters who were perished on that fateful day. But he was still thankful that he still has his youngest 7-year old daughter with him. We could just see how close the kid would just cling on to her dad and refuse to let him our of her sight ... and how Ps K would just hug her

At times, we could sense the grief which he had to bear, but we were also encouraged that he was constantly yielding all the pains and hurts back to God.

Ps Y - the pastor in Site A. A very vibrant, fiery and passionate man after God's own heart. Our hearts were really stirred by his commitments of serving the people living in that area - Christians and non-Christians alike. And somehow, it was believed that what he had done might have cause a bit of unhappiness to some groups because they thought he was trying to win the people over to "His side". So, periodically, he would receive death threats and the last one he received was three days before we visited Site A. When we asked him how he felt, he just remained chirpy, cheery and not afraid because "we have a great God". To live is Christ, to die is gain. And he was also one of the pastors who lost few of his young family members. Interestingly, after introducing myself to him for the first time, I immediately reminded him of his second son who is currently in Saudi Arabia, because his son and I have the same Christian name.

Ps R - the pastor in Site B. The youngest pastor we have met. 29 years old, married and has a kid. Don't know much about him because everyone were busy and did not get to talk much to him. But we did manage to take group photos. :)

There were other pastors we met too and one thing we learnt from God through them is the word "Unity". When we were packing the food stuff on Day 1 and 2, pastors and church members from nearby villages and towns would rally together and roster themselves to come and support in the packing. Some would stay for days without going back to their homes. In the midst of all the packing, we really could not distinguish who were the pastors because everyone present looked and talked the same. There were no arguments amongst these pastors in terms of decision making but all others submitted to Ps K who was running the show. Talk about unity, cohesiveness, bonding, support, love, sacrifice, giving without expecting to receive... all these were clearly displayed throughout our stay.

My utmost respect for them !

* The Two Sites *

In fact, we felt that Site A has more needs than Site B. Site A is a fishing village and the population were one of the poorest. Site B is more advanced in its facilities and has a higher literacy rate. Site A suffered more than 10,000 deaths when the Tsunami came into the land in three seperate waves (as described by Ps Y), wiping out the entire village's infrastructure. Site B - well, we were told it wasn't as bad as Site A. We saw it with our eyes and we also concluded that Site A has more dire needs that Site B.

But we saw one thing in Site A that moved us very much ... we saw, through their eyes, their resilience ... to continue to remian strong and hopeful in getting their lives back to normalcy despite of the sudden losses, both materials and loved ones. It was through these people (both Christians and non-Christians alike) and especially Pastor K and Pastor Y, that God reminded me of Job.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised." - Job 1:21

"..... Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" - Job 2:10

Will I really be able to stand firm, be faithful to and continue to trust God all the way if I were to loose everything I have one day? Will I be able to give Him thanks and praise for the loss of my loved ones, for the loss of my job, for the loss of all my earthly wealth and materials ? By then, will I still be able to declare that He will always be my Lord and my God in my darkest hours ... like Ps K or Ps Y or even Bro Yun "the Heavenly Man" do?

And I was reminded that God's blessings can also be taken away if we do not learn to humble ourselves before Him and obey Him ... if we choose to remain complacent and ignorant of God's decree ... if we continue to take things for granted and do not learn to give thanks to God for the little things we receive.
These thoughts just came flowing into my mind ... and I knew it's a lesson from Him, a reminder for us to take heed ...

We came for only 9 days ... effectively worked for 4 days ... our tasks and efforts were miniscule. Effectively, we gave very little. Yet we receive so much from God ... from what we had seen with our eyes and learnt with our heart. I would not even dare to ask for anything in return, yet He gave me something more valuable and precious which money could not buy ... those life lessons which He was teaching me so as to mould me to be better, to help me to grow spiritually.

I am truely thankful for what You are doing in the lives of these people, but inside me too! :)

On the night before we went to Site A, when I was doing my quiet time in the hall while all the others were in bed, God was impressing in my heart on some verses and afer reading them, my tear glands were activated. I just kept asking God when did I actually do all these, but He did not say a word more but left me a peace which passes all understanding and I was underserving and unworthy of it .. and still do to this day. I decided to share it with the team on the following evening during our nightly debrief. Maybe... these words were actually His words of encouragement to us ... the same words which were used as the themes for Fever 04:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in,
I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was sick and you looked after me,
I was in prison and you came to visit me...
whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:35-36,40

End of Part 3 ... any part 4 ? Let me think and I'll let you know.

glenn's blog

2005-03-17T17:01:00.000+08:00

Purely by accident, I stumbled across Ps Glenn Lim's blog. Though it looks more like a photo-blog. Well, who says pastors cannot have their own blogs?

trip reflections - sidetrack 1

2005-03-17T16:03:00.000+08:00

Someone from CRS (can't remember who though) said this before in one of the presentation meetings - cupids may shoot love arrows amongst the team members in the midst of their trip.

It was test proven and some of the married couples in CRS actually first met each other during the trip and the rest became history ...

Stoopid cupids !!! You dare do something funny on me and I will break all your bows, arrows and wings and peng-kang them over the fire!!!

trip reflections - part 2

2005-03-17T00:21:00.000+08:00

Attended the CRS prayer meeting at St James Church in the evening. Heard a recce trip report from two chaps who went to Zarand, Iran after that area was hit by an earthquake which hundreds were perished within that ten seconds. Another team gave an update on their crisis relief involvement in Maldives, while Amos (Team 4) reported on his Town B Trip. The retired bishop, Dr Moses Tay was present .. he's also the advisor to the CRS.

Had dinner at a coffee shop in Holland V with another two bros from Wesley.. One was in Team 3 and the other one went to Maldives. Just sat there and listened to them sharing their trip experiences, the fun time they had, how team members, each coming from different walks of life, with different sets of characters and traits, were able to clique together, how God orchestrated the chain of events and led them ...

Well ... :)

* team combo *

Team 5's combination was kind of ... interesting. Half of the 12 team members were from SJSM and almost everyone (except two) were from the Anglican denominations. Out of the 12, 4 went to Town G and 8 went to Town B. Not so familiar with the people going to Town G, but two of them stayed on for another 2 to 3 weeks after we returned to Singapore. Now, I realised why Rev Kuan (Vicar for St Andrews' Cathedral) was present at the airport on the night of our departure; his son was in Team 5, arrowed to be the Town G team leader and he's one of the two who stayed on for another two weeks as part of his Tribute programme with the Diocese.

From the Town B team, all the SJSMers were from the same cell group and the cell group leader was arrowed to be the team leader too. They were a fun bunch ... all around my age group .. letting their hair down and suaning each other whenever opportunties arose. Most of their conversations would focus around their family life, their kids and their work. One of the SJSMer had his Tsunami experience while in Penang and another SJSMer is a "born-in-malaysia" US citizen, holding a doctorate degree in environmental science (something like that) who just took time off from his business to be involved in this work.

KY, a sister with 3 kids, though small built, was able to endure all the tiredness in the packing work. Quiet and unassumed, she just packed and carried the packs without even uttering a single complaint or cry ... in fact, she was far better than the guys in terms of stamina and endurance ... we really hats off to her.

Then, we had this health-conscious chef, hailed from SAC, who is working in HPB dealing with publicity materials in promoting healthy eating and lifestyle. She cooked four dishes on the first night, but then the number of dishes gradually decreases in direct proportion to the number of days of our stay in Town B. Well, no one complained. She worked quite hard, juggling between packing the food and cooking for the team, the Pastor and Mr R, the driver. I had my share of fun in preparing the dinner on the third day - chicken stew with lots of Monosodium Glutamate from the maggie mee - it just made everyone thirsty for more Coke.

The ultimate is actually Mr C .. the oldest member in our team and he is a miracle. About one evening 6 months ago in Britian, his heart just stopped beating and he just collapsed. Technically or medically, he was dead .. but his heart started beating again after don't-know-how-many minutes later ... and he woke up two weeks later on hospital bed. The specialist doctor in UK who treated him and implanted a defib unit into his body, had never in his career seen a patient like Mr C who could come back alive after death, not brain dead and not becoming a vegetable ... got out of bed walking around one month after lying on bed. He told me it was because of this incident that had made him a person who is not afraid of death ... because if God wanted him home, nobody can stop Him from taking him home. And he believed that God has a purpose when He chose to revive his life and this trip was actually his dedication and thanksgiving back to God, though he could have easily taken a plane back to UK on 5 March. He became my room-mate who would wake up at 4am to brush his teeth, to get changed ... taking his time to do all this slowly so as not to hog other members who would dash to the toilet from 6am onwards.

To this day, each of us believed that the combination of Team 5 (Town B team) was hand-picked and placed together by God to be on this trip. We had different perspectives and views on issues, different frequency in talking .. but we got to gel together, living harmoniously, all having the same focus and aim, all having the hearts of the servant, the attitude to serve and not expecting to be served ... and the heart of total submission to the team leader and the Pastor who co-ordinated at the ground. Other than the key appointments, like treasurer and chef, we did not have to demarcate any specific roles or duties ... when work was needed to be done or help was needed for us to render, we would automatically jump in and start doing without waiting to be nudged or told ... like mopping the floor, cleaning up the dishes, serving drinks, covering each other during the packing job, etc. You don't need to wake them up for group devotion, everyone would be in the living room by 7am to start the worship, devotion and prayers. Seriously, I was quite surprised at this team's dynamics and I had never seen anything like that before... and I was very honoured to be able to work with this team and if the same team were to go out again, I would love to join them too.

* transportation *

Transportation in Sri Lanka reminds me of Myanmar ... people just love to sound their car horns whenever they are overtaking each other's car. There's no such thing as the right-of-way, or stop at pedestrain crossing .. making a quick three-point U-Turn in the middle of the city's busy street is normal ... driving side by side very close to each other (a gap of only centimetres between two vehicles) or tailgating is common ... Really, twice I nearly never made it back to Singapore alive and I believed it was God's grace and mercy. The vehicle, driven by Mr R, while overtaking, nearly went head-on with the oncoming buses and our mini-bus missed them twice by just centimetres .. close brush with fatal accidents. Though we found it quite a nerve wrecking experience travelling on the Sri Lanka roads, Mr R is a very good defensive driver.

If you can drive on the roads of Sri Lanka, driving on Singapore roads is nothing at all.

(end of part 2 ... part 3 coming soon)

trip reflections - part 1

2005-03-16T12:37:00.000+08:00

Wanted to do this last night but was busy repositioning my CPU, redo all the cablings and wirings, and fidgeting with the new Netgear ADSL wireless router modem, and by the time I finished all these stuff, it's already 3am.

Had a counselling debrief at SCEM last evening. Most of us were there, other than the team leader and three other members. It was more of a time of reflection, to share our thoughts, all the lessons learnt, challenges posed before us during the trip and how do we go on from here to be better servants for Christ. Overall, all of us were quite surprised that, though we come from different churches, though each of us are quite different in characters and habits, we managed to gel together pretty well like one big family.... well, in God's eyes, we are in one big family of His. :)

Pardon my "england" if you discover any grammatical, sentence construction or spelling errors... I was just typing based on what popped into my mind though I had "consolidated" my thoughts a bit.

* Itineary *

In total, our trip lasted nine days. We met up at Terminal 1 on Friday evening, took a 12.10am Emirates flight to Colombo and landed there at about 2.30am SL Time - 2 hours behind Singapore). Reached our hotel at about 4am and took a short nap till 8am ... met up Team 4 for breakfast followed by a briefing conducted by them. Had lunch in Golden Dragon Cafe (the default lunch/dinner venue for all the teams), followed by a shopping trip to Bibile House and ODEL, before hitting a mini-supermart to stock up our canned food and maggie mee. In the evening, after dinner, we had an hour of send-off prayer and worship session by the hotel's poolside, and that ended Day 1.

Day 2 was travelling from Colombo to Town B or Town G. Out of the team of 12 people, 8 of us were sent to Town B, while 4 others (Joseph, Jason, Cat and Leslie) were sent to Town G to nuah. The Town B team was involved in food distribution programme while Town G team was involved in children's programme (you know ... sing-a-longs, magic shows, skits..). My team left the hotel at 7am in a mini-bus, had short tea breaks and lunch break along the way, and by the time we reached our destination, our butts were already super-sore. Whole journey was quite smooth, though the police and military check points increased in numbers as we were closer to the town. Initially, some members were feeling a bit uneasy because of their presence, but eventually, they "got used" to it. At about 5pm, we finally "checked in" to a two-storey bunglow which was owned by a district judge in that town. In Level 1, there was a kitchen, 3 sleeping rooms (used by Ps K, the mini-bus driver and some helpers from the nearby villages) and a hall which was used as a warehouse cum work area to prepare the food packages. For us, we ate, bathed and slept in Level 2. Seriously, the living condition was above our expectations ... there were beds and pillow, ceiling fans in each room, a big living hall with rattan chairs and mats ... except there were no radio and TV. Team 4 left their Creative speakers in the house, and I happened to bring my MP3 player/FM tuner ... hence, we were able to have some simple evening entertainments' by tuning into the english retro radio channel. What else could we ask for ? We were just thankful for these basic amenities and the very clean environment (flies included too).

Day 3 and Day 4 were involved in packing food stuff, from various spieces like Tarmarind seeds, Cumin Seeds and pepper seeds etc ... to packing flour and noddles. Because the food stuff came in big sacks which weighted in kilograms, we had to apportion them into smaller packs of 200g for spieces and 2 kg for noodles. In fact, the most back-breaking period I had was when we were packing the noddles in Day 3 and doing the family pack for Day 4. In total, we had to do packing for 7 items and then prepare 1700 family packs of 11 tems. That means, for two days, we worked straight from 8am in the morning after our morning devotion and breakfast, right into the night about 8pm. The work was hard and tiring, but somehow, none of us complained. We were trying not to rest too much because there were a lot to pack. In fact, we were told by Ps K that our team had the most items to pack and took 2 full days while other teams had less to do. In the midst of packing, I kind of strained my back ... it was quite painful and I could not even bend my back ... as if I had a slip disc or some sort ... yes, yes, it's sign of old age. But Pa was really gracious, because when I woke up on the morning in Day 5 to prepare to load up 800 family packs to the lorry about 70m from the house, I didn't feel the pain anymore. It has to be His grace and His hands at work... :). Day 5 and Day 6 were food distribution days to Site 1 and Site 2, one site per day. In each of the morning, we loaded 800 packs into the lorry. We grabbed about 2 to 4 packs, each pack weighing about 5kg, walked about 70m from the house to the lorry parked along the main road, and have them loaded into the vehicle. Once we finished, we had our lunch, rested a while, and embarked to the destinations to distribute the stuff to the villagers. Day 7 was a return trip from Town B to Colombo and Day 8 was a day to meet up Team 6 (who are there now) and to brief them. The programme for Day 8 was similar to Day 1. Day 9 ... return to Singapore after sending Team 6 out in the mini-bus.

End of part 1 ... part 2 coming up soon.

back to work

2005-03-15T11:10:00.000+08:00

First day back to work and I'm still yawning away (imagine a doggy with its mouth wide opened and its tongue sticking out). Hundreds of internal and Internet emails are already raining on me ... from office mails to commercial junk mails to my NUS library membership renewal... Wish I had stayed on in SL and don't come back at all. :P

Boss is not around. His turn to be on leave for 4 days as this week is school holidays and he's entertaining his youngest kid at home..

Tuesdays blues, man.

happy rom day

2005-03-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

Finally, the wedding ring slipped right into Callan's left ring finger. Congratulations, Callan and Karen!

(nuah)

Had a nice nuahing day just to rest and recover. Shop a bit at Funan in the afternoon - look for ADSL Wireless Router, buy CDRWs so I can burn the trip photos and distribute them to the team members, develop the photos for Charles, hunt for SDIO WiFi Card, searching for my textbook but could not be found. Met up with Callan, Karen and the whole chain gang for a "long-time-no-see" chat at our Starbucks outlet and dinner at Pivdorf before we departed.

Got to sort out the photos and video clips before I record them into the CDRWs.

I may not have the chance to go back for next two months because of my assignments and the world missions course.. Oh well ...

There's a youth leaders retreat this weekend and I'm going to pon-tank it .. no choice, one assignment due next monday and another one on the following week ... and I need the weekends to churn out the required outputs.

photos up

2005-03-14T04:23:00.000+08:00

Photos of Team 5 in Sri Lanka from 4 to 13 March 2005.

back

2005-03-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

5.20pm ... touched down on Runway 1, officially on Singapore soil. Nice to be back home ... in fact, twice I nearly could not made it back home permenantly, if you get what I mean ... but I guess He was saying "Not time yet, kiddo".

Thanks for praying... you know who you are. :)

Will do a write-up about the trip after I reconsolidate my past week's writings...

Deep in my heart ... I still want to go back there to support the work... that is, if my schedule permits within next one month.

Registration for Go4th National Missions Conference is now opened ... click here if you are keen to attend.

hallelujahs

2005-03-04T18:12:00.000+08:00

Ok ... ok..., I was just flushing all my emails... blog-fast officially begins after the end of this entry.... T minus 5 hours and 45 minutes and I'll in the air... T minus one hour and Ezra will be at my place.

Just learnt from Seng Yan's email that Choi Yin's mom has just gone home to be with the Lord due to kidney failure ... well... wordless .. speechless ... not in a state of shock or surprise ... nah, never mind. For sure, I could not attend the wake.

Wanted to journal this down but kept forgotting about it ... I found one of my "long lost" nephews in Friendster few nights ago.. His name is BenG, not pronounced as Beng but "Ben" and "G"... in other words, Benji. From the photo in Friendster, one thing for sure, he has grown kind of chubby ... should be taller than me too. Discovered that he's doing his Masters in U of Michigan (Ann Arbor), happily pak-tor-ing with his gfren (same gfren I met during my dad's wake few years back ?), and happily serving in Ann Arbor Chinese Christian Church. Read the testimonials which were written by his friends ... a man after God's heart.. WooT! .. :").

Except.. this uncle here don't know how to interact with his nephews and nieces well.. Haizzz.. shi1 bai4, man...

Dedicated to Gez, Zacky, Mattyflower, Ah-Ray, Gibs and BenG (if you happen to stumble upon this blog ... )-

(by Chris Rice, from "Deep Enough To Know")

A purple sky to close the day
I wade the surf where dolphins play
The taste of salt, the dance of waves
And my soul wells up with hallelujahs

A lightning flash, my pounding heart
A breaching whale, a shooting star
Give testimony that you are
And my soul wells up with hallelujahs

Oh praise Him all His mighty works
There is no language where you can't be heard
Your song goes out to all the Earth
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

O cratered moon and sparrow's wings
O thunder's boom and Saturn's rings
Unveil our Father as you sing
And my soul wells up with hallelujahs

Oh praise Him all His mighty works
There is no language where you can't be heard
Your song goes out to all the Earth
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

The pulse of life within my wrist
A fallen snow, a rising mist
There is no higher praise than this
And my soul wells up
O my soul wells up
Yes my soul wells up with hallelujahs

Oh praise Him all His mighty works
There is no language where you can't be heard
Your song goes out to all the Earth
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

O hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

blog-fast

2005-03-04T01:51:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm going to go on a 9-day fast... a blog-fast, to be more preceise. Well, I don't have a choice because I won't be able to gain access to any Internet terminals or connections.

Before the fast begins, just a little "back-date"..

(eating and ranting)

Wednesday evening's gathering was similar to the one I had few months earlier. wangchye picked me up in his new car from my office at 6.30pm (in fact, his office building and mines are just opposite each other)... woot ! new car, man! Mitsubishi dunno-what model with a SFS license plate. And as usual, we headed up to my usual hideout ... Changi Airport Recreation Club, or CARC for short, at Terminal 2. It has almost all the recreational facilities - from badminton and tennis courts to mini-gym to Karaoke, Billard Room ... not to mention the Jackpot Room which is the most popular amongst the members who are the airport staff. I have never liked that room back then ... the coin-eating monsters could just gobble up 100-dollar worth of fifty cents coins within minutes ... and the money I have is not mines, but God's property.

Met up with small tan and hoeseng again. Hoeseng still remembered I beat him to the payment of our previous dinner... and he decided to make his move well in advance, even wangchye, his previous kaki-colleague, almost missed by seconds. ahahaha... tks a lot for the dinner, bro. Instead of K-ok and billard, we talked and ate a lot... mainly office talks - from the past when I was still there, to the current updates. There are a lot of changes going on within the organisation... a lot of outsourcing .... and the Section where I was working previously, will be due for outsourcing within a year or two. Quite scary though... but changes are somehow inevitable. Chatted with Helen who popped by during her K-ok break, and cheekeong who came over after his tennis game.

Mingsue is now the third man in Engineering Division and overseeing Terminal 3 project. But he's still the same - helpful, kind, gentle and humble in nature - very meticulous in his work - he's full of the blood of TCHS & HCJC. It's only a matter of time that he will take over the helm of Director's post.

End of back-dating ...

Ezra is going to pick me up from my place in the evening and have dinner at Terminal 1 before checking in at 9.30pm .. Isaac is coming along too, with his time-bomb ... hahaha. Really, it's just a short trip ... but thanks a lot, guys.

The rest of you - be good, take care of yourself ... don't need to come back to this blog for next 9 days. If you really want, pray that we will be compassionate, submissive to the God's Authority, sensitive to the needs there, work as a family... come back to Singapore alive and well, in one piece and not washed away by the Tsunami or hammered by some radical groups ...

See you !

And the fast begins ....

bye bye saturdays

2005-03-02T13:28:00.000+08:00

Broad schedule has just been released ... hur hur ... this is going to be great ! I can kiss all my Saturdays from end May to early August goodbye. Got to learn to enjoy working over these weekends in Padang and got to start arranging for another CGL to stand in and work with Grace during this period of my absence.

slurp

2005-03-02T00:54:00.000+08:00

Jamie Oliver, Kylie Kwong, Keith Floyd, Anthony Bourdain ... what do they have in common ? They are celebrity chefs, each with their own TV programmes which shows them whipping up a gastronomic storm in their kitchens or living their life by travelling around the world in search of gastronomic delights. Besides catching news from Channel NewsAsia and CNN, I confess that I'm quite a fan of most of these cook shows from Discovery Travel and Living channel. I do enjoy watching, but don't quite really like to or know how to cook. I don't want to risk having anybody's rectum burning like an erupting volcano. Well, at least, I can include a tab of Imodium for dessert if you dare try...

(psychological briefing)

The briefing which was conducted by Ken and Grace, was indeed beneficial. Covered quite a number of areas, from pre-trip self assessment using Holmes-Rahe Scale and the relief worker burnout questionnaire, to explanation on disaster stages, crisis reactions by victims, elements of crisis intervention and self care. Quite an overload of information to take in within that 2 hours but still, it's a good psychological preparation on what is about to come, so that I or we won't be in for a shell shock. I'm going to journal ... as least what I will be going through, can be recorded and reflected after I return ... that is, if nothing happens.

Interestingly, Grace (... not my ACGL) is also from my church for 5 years, but we have never bumped into each other before ... not surprising though bcos the congregation is getting a bit too big that almost everyone is a stranger to each other.

Saw this poster on the wall in SCEM office...

GO Forth National Missions Conference
15 - 18 Jun 2005
Suntec City

Whoa! Ps Rick Seaward and Ps Edmund Chan are some of the plenary speakers ... and the conference happens to coincide with Youth Camp.... haizzzz... how to ponk-tank youth camp and go for conference ah?

(Question)

Isaac asked me a specific question in the email. I wonder if he's intending to plant a time bomb so I don't come back alive. :P. You want the answer? It's EK 349.

Officially, this bunch of 12 interesting ding-dongs are known as Team 5. Most from SJSM, 1 from SAC, 1 from SJC, 1 from COOS (no prize for guessing who comes from there... ), 1 from FCBC. Out of these bunch, 4 goes for kiddy programme while the rest will embark on manual labour (wait till I return, you will see my chest will bulge like a b***** .... CENSORED!).

One is a doctor, but not on the medical field ... we thought we could get free medical consultation.

One is a cell leader who "dragged" his other cell members into the team. One of them, a sister, whose husband is a doctor. He was away providing medical relief in the B.A. location while this sister would look after their 3 kids. Now she goes off and it is his turn to babysit.

One is a SJSM member had his first-hand experience of that big thing that came crashing in while on holiday at a bunglow by the beach in Penang. He managed to get all his family members out of the place and move to safe grounds, otherwise he won't be around to testify personally.

The one from FCBC is the more garang one... quitted his work as DXO and going out there for 1 month, come back to renew visa, and then go back out there for another month or so.

The one from SJC will also go for a month, joining the FCBC chap and another 2 person for the kiddy programme.

This one from dunno-where (SAC?)... just came back from UK after 5 years to celebrate his wedding anniversary and now he's off for the field work. While he was in UK, God delivered him from THREE big kabooms planted by the IRA ... all were within close range to where he physically was.

If you are keen, just keep this Team 5 in prayers ... for His grace and mercy, for His protection, for His warring angels to surround us, for His blood to cover us.

briefing

2005-03-01T13:05:00.000+08:00

Attended a briefing at SJSM last night. In total, there were 7 SJSMers, 1 SJC, 1 SAC, 1 COOS (that's me), 1 FCBC and 1 unknown. As usual, my introvertic behaviour surfaced as usual, just didn't know how to mingle amongst them ... what's new, especially with a bunch of people whom I've not met before and they already like new each other for many suns and moons. Nothing much to say about that meeting, but we will be seeing each other again tonight, this time at SCEM office at Duxton Road. This time, it will be a psychological briefing ... sounds like psycho session, man... hahahaha.

My mind was still quite tired and hazy last night ... was in a almost complete shut-down mode, though my body was still very much active. Having problem guessing gez's prayer request items at the wee hours of the morning - so, just pray in the Spirit and let Him lead until my whole being decided to enter into the la-la land.

swings

2005-02-28T15:12:00.000+08:00

Oh no, not again. Not quite myself again ... one of those mood-swing battles again since yesterday ... depression set in again. Not sure if I'm suffering the post-effect of Mefloquine because I had been warned by doc at the Mission's Clinic before .... I know I was quite incoherent in my last entry ... too much thoughts and memories came flashing back, and I was literally blogging what was going through in my mind that time. Found myself quite hard to rest last night and difficult to face the new morning, nearly screwed up my appraisal session with my supervisor ... and now, I am still in that state ... just can't seem to keep myself focus on my work or any conversations.

I'm tired. When is this going to go away ?

Sigh.... Thank You, Lord!

i have decided

2005-02-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

Just discovered from the Web that this song is actually an Indian folk melody...

I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, yet will I follow;
Though none go with me, yet will I follow;
Though none go with me, yet will I follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

This song impressed on Bee Ling's heart on Friday night. She got Ezra's cell group to sing this song after Isaac shared the word. Then, Ps Michael Ross Watson, an old friend of coos, flew in from London (I think..) and shared at the Youth Service that during his baptism in his teens, he and others sang "I Have Decided" as a declaration and since then he never looked back to his past. Bee Ling was so moved by the Spirit that she got the congregation to sing this song and hundreds of youths went forth and knelt before the altar to rededicate themselves, to make that declaration to follow Jesus and not turning back. Sensed the need in my heart to pray for Isaac, and went over to pray for him ... and somehow, I found myself almost choked in praying, could feel my eyes were wet, and could feel that tugging in my heart. This whole "chain of events" was not a coincidence but God's divine timing and His hands at work.

I have not shared this with anyone yet but when I was doing my pre-CG prayer session in one of the rooms earlier in that afternoon, I was staring at the chords for that same song which was shot on the wall with a projector.

After the service, met up with sinteck, an old friend ... catching up old times at Borders till around midnight before he dropped me off at my place. Once I got home and turned on my PC, Eva activated me through email for PA duty in CCW on the following morning (she's leading worship). Thought of returning to coos on Sunday morning to listen to Ps Michael's other sermons but knowing that his sermons will be made available online, I left home at 6.45am for CCW. Here's the best part .. as she led worship, my jaws dropped ... one of the songs was "I Have Decided". Now, the words just kept appearing before my eyes... and now that song just kept ringing in my head ...

It's more than just a coincidence ... more than just His divine work and timing ... He's talking to some deepest untouched realm of my heart which was still crying out ...

"And I don't even know who I am anymore
Oh God I'm praying through the tears
Let me make up for these years
Oh have I waited too long
Can I start again?
To be the man you've wanted of me
I'm begging You to show me
Do You even know me anymore?"

Just let it go ... it's all in the past ... you just have to learn to forgive yourself.

(TTSH)

Visited Ezekiel's mom at TTSH. Praise the Lord! She is now able to take porridge and she moved out of Neuro ICU to the normal ward this afternoon. Found out that last Sunday, Ezekiel was the one who called the ambulance to send his mom to hospital, did the administration work with the hospital staff to admit her ... and stayed in the hospital that whole day even when her mom was in the ops ... and he's only 12 going on 13 next month. When few of us (Eva, Joel and Wesley) met him at Causeway Point for lunch before the vistation, he was still as chirpy as usual. He has really grown to be very matured for his age. I really thank Pa for him .. watching over him and his mom during this period of time.

(ADHD + Dyslexia)

What is ADHD?

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a genetically determined hereditary disorder. It is a syndrome characterized by chronic behavior patterns of inattentiveness, lack of impulse control and excess energy (hyperactivity). The symptoms may be mild or severe and are associated with functional deviations of the central nervous system without signs of major neurologic or psychiatric disturbance.

Inattentiveness is when the child is easily distracted and has difficulty focusing or concentrating on a task.

Lack of impulse control is when the child may get into frequent fights or act aggressively toward others with little cause.

Hyperactivity is when the child seems to fidget, squirm and move about constantly and can't sit still for any length of time.

ADHD is not caused by poor parenting or a chaotic home environment.

There are more to read if you click here.

What is Dyslexia?

Dyslexia is a brain-based type of learning disability that specifically impairs a person's ability to read. These individuals typically read at levels significantly lower than expected despite having normal intelligence. Although the disorder varies from person to person, common characteristics among people with dyslexia are difficulty with phonological processing (the manipulation of sounds) and/or rapid visual-verbal responding.

I just discovered on that one of my CG member suffers from the above two... I can't blame him ... he did not want it to be that way ... if given a choice, he would just want to be like any other normal kids ... in my heart, I just knew that he is Pa's unique and special child.... and He loves him very very much. For sure, I'll need a lot more patience and tolerance to walk this stretch of road with him.

(Prayer verses for East Timor)

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." - 2 Chronicles 7:14

This was the verse that came impressing in my heart after Issac sent me an SMS... and I believe there are more ...

off day

2005-02-26T03:31:00.000+08:00

Yes! I finally took my offficial off-day ... well, only one. The other had to be forfeited as the 2nd off day expires on Monday and I have to return to office for staff appraisal.

Went up to Jurong East in the morning to grab my course notes. Paid up two modules ... don't know if I have made a right choice for doing so because I need to juggle my modules in this sem with the youth ministry work, my office work and the world missions course. Think I'm going to run of steam in no time ... but then God will still be my strength and my guide. Had a fun time roaming around for books and CD Acts Lifestyle in China Square (yup, found the CD which Galv's daddy was talking about the other time) ... sat down at one corner of the Square to go through the CG notes ... to read up some stuff ... to list down all the things I need to do within the next 7 days. Evening was another tekan session with Sajan, but the reward was a dinner cum drink at the Blooie's over at Science Park 2 in Sajan's new Chevrolet. First time going to Blooie after noticing quite a number of banners hanging along the road in Science Park 1. Stayed there till 11pm before I made my way home to type and print all the CG notes, to print the photos, to prepare worship too... all in a nights' work.

Boring off-day .. isn't it?

Shan't name the person, but he told me that he got his testimony in the thumbdrive and "feel free to read it". Found and read it after clearing all the stuff I needed to do.

Bro, you said it, so I read it ... and I'm really proud of you ... for your admission, honesty and openness to testify. If you think you are the only one who has to struggle, you are not alone in this journey. As long as we shall live, there's always this temptation that will always dangle like a carrot before us. You can't stop it from coming to you, but you can choose to turn it away if you want to do, because God has set you free and given you that strength to say no to it. Even if you were to fall repeatedly in the midst of the struggles, God still loves and cares for you .. and nope, He does not condemn you ... He knows your struggles very well... and He's always been there with you. And I would like you to know that I still love you as a bro always ... I empathise with what you are going through because I had gone through that same phase before and always learning to resist the dangling carrot. If you ever need to share / pour your heart out, my ears and my hands are always there for you ... if you want to, that is. You had always been in my prayers and you still are.

You are growing up. You are learning. You are getting better. Your testimony says it all. Don't stop growing in the Lord. Never give up. People will come to know Jesus because of you. Continue to be a young man after God's heart ... and He will pursue after you.

If you feel you lost
And on your own
And far from home
You're never alone you know
Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there
With love to share
And your heart will lead you home

JIA YOU! :")

bye bye, matty

2005-02-25T02:36:00.000+08:00

Matty should be in the air by now on his way to aussieland. Well, he's really fortunate. All his luggages added up to more than 90kg (that's what his mom said) and the airline let him through !!!! And his mom will be flying there to see him next month and she's going to bring another luggage of his stuff over. Wah! sounds like he's shifting his whole house to aussieland permenantly.

Think Gez, SJ, Ray and I had scored lots of "points"... must ask Matty how his parents grade us again tonight ... was my hair messy ? did I tuck in my shirt properly ? did they minus 80 marks just for that messy hair ? ... bwahahahaha... Somehow, his parents seem to have this "matty's friends rating system" which all his friends have been scrutinised and rated according to behaviour, attire ... and another thousand and one criterias. bwahahahaha... hope they are not reading this. :P

And I'm so happy for Gez and Ray - red bomb this way comes ... one day ... :P

Matty - study hard and do you best ah!

Terminal 2 is becoming much more zen-ish and less metallic looking. Missed this place ... missed working OT here .... missed sleeping overnight and catching free cable programmes in the passenger transit area... ooops.. cat is out of the bag. Will be back again on next Wednesday evening for a post-CNY gathering with ex-colleagues - wangchye and small tan at Changi Airport Recreation Club which is discreetly hidden in Terminal 2 ... and next Friday evening for a ride of my life with the Emirates (hang on ... that's Terminal 1... hmmmph).

bye bye

2005-02-25T02:23:00.000+08:00

seven dos of mentoring

2005-02-24T16:24:00.000+08:00

Bee Ling gave out to the CLs a sheet of paper which lists down the seven dos of mentoring. Not DOS as in Disk Operating System but as in "DO" with a "S". Seven pointers for all CLs and ACLs to do in mentoring the cell members:

BE CONSISTENT - I will be dependable and trustworthy as a mentor. To the best of my ability, I will honour my commitments and keep my promises. I will be there for the youth I am mentoring on a regular and consistent basis for as long as I am required to do so.

BE YOURSELF - I will be thankful for who I am - for the personality, gifts, talents, abilities and attributes that God has specifically given to me. I believe that God knows me, loves me, and has called me to serve as a mentor to youth. And I am confident that He will be able to use me just the way I am.

BE A LISTENER - I will take every opportunity to be a good listener in my mentoring relationship. I will avoid judging and lecturing. I will listen attentively because I care, and because I desire to treat the youth I am mentoring with dignity and respect.

BE HONEST - I will do my best to tell the truth always in my mentoring relationship, even when it hurts. In so doing, I will inspire the youth I am mentoring to be honest with me. When either of us is unsure of the truth, we will be honest with each other and seek to discover the truth together.

BE PATIENT AND FORGIVING - I will be realistic about the expectations I have for the youth I am mentoring. I will do my best to demonstrate unconditional love in every circumstance by being gracious, understanding, slow to to anger, patient and forgiving. I will not allow failures to destroy our relationship.

BE ENCOURAGING - I will bring out the best in the youth I am mentoring by being generous with affirmation, encouragement, gratitude, and praise. I will do all that I can to inspire my youth to dream dreams and to recognize the potential that he or she has in Christ Jesus.

PRAY HARD - I will not become fustrated or discouraged because of my inability to change a young person's life. Instead, I will pray daily for the youth I am mentoring, and trust God to do what I cannot do.

(update on ezekiel's mom)

Ezekiel's mom had her third round of ops yesterday. Thank God that all clots were removed. Got to pray that the clots won't come back and there won't be any infections for next few days.

(off)

Tomorrow, I'm going on off-in-lieu because the last Christmas and New Year Day happened to fall on Saturdays. Will need to settle my course payment, collecting my course notes, and run some other errands... hopefully I can have some time to spend with Pa alone before my tekan session by Sajan in the evening. Well, think I need a bit of the rest. Wasn't really myself and quite moody last night but I still somehow survived the CG gathering .... and of late, I just keep forgetting all the things or tasks I need to do ... hope I'm not suffering from some funny brain disease otherwise it will be ultra embarassing if I end up shitting on the toilet and I forget to strip my underwear down ... haizzzz.

Thought of going off on Monday too but had to come back to office because my boss is going to do staff appraisal. Well .... never mind lah.

(mattyflower)

Sending Matty off tonight - SQ255 at Terminal 2. Will be meeting up Gez and ah ray at T2 then have dinner first.

bits and pieces - 22 feb 05

2005-02-23T00:22:00.000+08:00

That's it. Mefloquine consumption starts this Friday night... briefing on next Monday night and Counselling on next Tuesday night.

Ezekiel's mom had a seizure and her condition took a turn. If it does not get any better, she may require another ops. No matter what happens, there's nothing much we could do except committing her to God's hands in prayers.

bits and pieces - 21 feb 05

2005-02-22T13:23:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog last night but was literally nodding away in front of my PC ... well, what's new ? After staying up so late for so many years, guess my body wants to have an early retirement. But with my course starting again next Monday, I still have yet to decide if I still want to whack 2 modules at one go ... and that means more late nights to do assignments and not office work or journalling. Sought Pa out on this, but He's just keeping quiet.. guess He's leaving it to me to decide ..? maybe it won't make a difference to Him whether I were to take two or one or none.

(Ezekiel's Mom)

Ezekiel's mom has successfully gone through two rounds of ops. Seems like there was a growth in the skull and hence the stroke. Now resting and recovering ... thank God.

(Million Dollar Baby)

Not just any ordinary boxing movie. Based on a short story, Rope Burns, by F.X. Toole, it tells of a weathered boxing trainer, who had a strained relationship with his daughter, refused to train Maggie Fitzgerald (played by Hilary Swank) to be a boxer. Because of her persistence, he begrudgingly agreed to take her on. And from then on, "the two come to discover that they share a common spirit that transcends the pain and loss of their pasts, and they find in each other a sense of family they lost long ago. Yet, they both face a battle that will demand more heart and courage than any they've ever known."

Though a bit long, lots of violence and profanity, ethically disturbing and a stunningly disturbing ending, it is an emotionally powerful story, inclined on the perspective of living life fully, because our time is short. It is about second chances, forgiveness, redemption, and healing wounds that "cut too deep." To me, it's one of the best films I've seen, thanks to the powerhouse performers like Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman and Hilary Swank.

(interview)

Thankfully, the interviews are over. Nope, I'm not looking for a new job, but it's a requirement at this company where I'm working. The first one was conducted as an applicant for myself and the second one as a refree for my boss. Very interesting questions asked which beyond work life into our personal life, but we were sworn to answer them truthfully. No choice, it's comes as part of their job to ask and our job to answer. At the end of it, I "sumpah-ed" on the OSA form and so did my boss, and that should last us for another three years before this vicious cycle repeats. Stressful, man!

(gmm)

Haizzz... I wonder who ....? sniff sniff ... well, only Pa knows ... either there's one or there's none.

bits and pieces - 20 feb 05

2005-02-21T00:18:00.000+08:00

(telematch meeting)

The meeting was held on Saturday afternoon. P6 and Sec1 cells will be organising a telematch on 19 Mar between 4pm to 5.30pm. Quite a number of people turned up for the meeting including Ezra and Sharon who were leading the discussion. My goodness .. Sharon has grown up to be such a fine lady ever since I knew her when she was helping in my pre-teen group years ago. At least to see people like Kimberly, Sharon, Keith, Iain, Ephraim and even Ben ... all grown up and committing to serve in various areas in the UrbanRace is really an encouragement to me, an evidence of God's workings in their lives throughout these years, and a reminder to me that I'm not getting younger anymore. It's true! If the youths were to get me to make a don't-know-how-many meters dash from the church bldg to the Queenstown MRT station, by the time they reach the station, I would have ended up in the morturary's fridge.

Anyway, Ezra volunteered me for the most slackest job in the telematch ... to mend the first aid post. I shall plant the post at the hawker centre, in front of the drink stall and should there be any casualties come my way, I shall just call 995.. and that shall be the last time Ezra is going to volunteer me for this task. :P

(stroke)

Ezekiel's mother was admitted to TTSH for stroke in this afternoon. Don't know what's the outcome now but hopefully Wesley will sms once he has udpates. Though Ezekiel is only 13, I know he's one tough kid who will remain strong.

(wes)

Wesley .. a super busy bro ... been busy with his last few assignments in NIE, been busy with his BB 12th Coy ... still faithfully supporting the CCW worship team for drums and worship leading, and to mentor some of the CCW youths .... now, he's going to be a busy teacher at Christ Church Sec School or at MOE HQ to serve up his bond with the PSC ... and whenever he can find spare time, he will either be out on mission trips with his BB boys to Thailand or visit his parents who are pastoring a church in Hong Kong. But despite of all that busyness, he's still so humble, so meek, sociable. If anyone wants to witness God's constant working in His people's life, Wes is one of the living examples I know of ... whom I would take reference to.

(bert)

Another dear bro from CCW ... only got posted to MICA for 1 month plus and he misses his teaching profession, even though he's now given a "glamorous" appointment of AD (that's Assistant Director, for short).... read this ... glamorous with speech marks ... in other words, there are a lot of Assistant Directors in the ministries ... nice new name but same old job scope. Like Wesley, he's also serving his PSC bond and he's also a very fun person to be with, another faithful worship team member / leader.

Thankful to Pa for giving me the opportunities to mingle and go crazy with them in CCW. :)

(freedom reigns - michael larson)

Verse 1:
Where the spirit of the Lord is
There is freedom
Where the spirit of the Lord is
There is freedom
Lift your eyes to heaven
There is freedom
Lift your eyes to heaven
There is freedom

Chorus:
Freedom reigns in this place
Showers of mercy and grace
Falling on every face
There is freedom
Jesus, reigns in this place
Showers of mercy and grace
Falling on every face
There is freedom

Verse 2:
If you're tired or thirsty
There is freedom
If you're tired or thirsty
There is freedom
Give your all to Jesus
There is freedom
Give your all to Jesus
There is freedom

(thought of the week)

Fight truth decay - Study the Bible daily!

19 feb snapshot

2005-02-20T00:29:00.000+08:00

(morning)

Don't think I want to go through the details of this morning, but then, you can click here to read.

In all the cremations I've attended ... 6th or 7th in total (that excludes ground burial), I guess ... from my childhood buddy, to my schoolmates, to my wai-gong's and dad's ... this is probably the only one I know where the grief is quickly followed with God's hope that everyone will meet in Heaven one day, and not an eternal good-bye. I really hats off to every member of Galv's one big family.

Had the privilege and honour to meet and chat with Galv and Dori's parents. I remembered Galv wrote about his dad being quiet in nature... but once a converstaion is started, you would never believe that is true. Hehehe. To see this family of four coming and clinging together .. to see the love and care flowing two-ways between the parents and the children ... to see the children being so filial to their parents, and the parents with so much love to give them ... their lives really bear great testimonies on God's love. Really happy and proud of them.

(the p6cg)

This bunch of soccer-crazed guys ... can get so incredibly restless during CG that half the session can be spent on taming them to pay attention to the sharing and not to eat during CG, and ocassionally breaking up their small fights ... But in the midst of it all, if one could just see right through that restlessness, the hyperactiveness ... in each of them, there is this hidden gem which God is constantly polishing up, the stallion in them which God is taming. They can lift up their hands to praise and worship, they (if being moved or touched) can cry and surrender themselves to the Lord ... they can pray for you on their own accord without even you asking them to do so. I told Pa before to help me to love them all despite of their nature, and I'm beginning to sense that ability to do that, bit by bit weekly. It's probably a matter of speaking to them firmly but gently (once in a while, scold a bit) ... encouraging them always though they don't feel like doing what you would like them to do ... most importantly, respect and accept them as a person, as who they really are, as God's little children.

I'm still learning to love them all ... to understand them even more ... But, I have no regrets. They are still God's little precious ones who will be the Joshuas and Nehemiahs.

[a tale of three kings]

Just to quote some bits from the book ... for my ownself to remember, to reflect ... something to learn about the character of King David:

Spoken by a soldier of King David -

" 'I will tell you of my king (David) and his greatness: My king never threatened me as yours does. Your new king has begun his reign with laws, rules, regulations and fear. The clearest memory I have of my king, when we lived in the caves, is that his was a life of submission. Yes, David showed me submission, not authority. He taught me not the quick cure of rules and laws, but the art of patience. That is what changed my life. Leagalism is nothing but a leader's way of avoiding suffering.'"

" 'My king spoke not of submitting to him. He feared no rebellion ... because he did not mind if he was dethroned! David taught me losing, not winning. Giving, not taking. He showed me that the leader, not the follower, is inconvenienced. David shielded us from suffering; he did not mete it out.'"

Spoken by King David ... on why he did not kill King Saul

" 'Better he kill me than I learn his ways. Better he kill me than I become as he is. I shall not practice the ways that cause kings to go mad. I will not throw spears, nor will I allow hatred to grow in my heart. I will not avenge. I will not destroy the Lord's anointed. Not now. Not ever!' "

Spoken by King David ...

" 'No man knows his own heart. I do not know mine. Who knows what is really in my heart? Perhaps in God's eyes I am no longer worthy to rule. Perhaps he is through with me. Perhaps it is His will for Absalom to rule. I honestly don't know. And if this is His will, I want it. God may be finished with me! ...... I did not fight to be king, and I will not fight to remain king. May God come tonight and take the throne, the kingship, and .. His anointing from me. I seek His will, not His power. I repeat, I desire His will more than I desire a position of leadership.'"

Huhhh ? ... sometimes, my prayers had been traversing along that same line ...

every season

2005-02-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

This song was playing from my PC speakers just now as I was working. Couldn't help it but stop and listen to it again. I remembered posting the lyrics before but then again, but then don't mind posting it again ...

Every Season - Nichole Nordeman

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

Then it became clear again ... We have these four seasons which revolve endlessly in our life ... our life constantly being recreated, refreshed, and renewed in God's hands. Time to be lifted up ... and time to be brought down and torn apart so that we can be rebuilt and lifted up again.

Did those words I received last night have something to do with this song? God's timing ? God's divine appointment?

Hmmm, am I making any sense or am I just writing rubbish ? At least, for sure, it made a lot of sense to me.

[again]

18 Feb devotion article from "My Utmost For His Highest" slammed me on the floor again.... I really don't know what to say.

let it go

2005-02-18T00:37:00.000+08:00

It was the final training session ... I was kneeling down at a corner of the room, sandwiched between stacks of chairs and boxes.

"Let it go. Just let it go. Whatever have happened in the past are over, just let it go.

Start anew with me again, look and hold onto Me, and let Me continue to lead you ... and in time to come, I will grant you your heart's desires ..."

ragamuffin

2005-02-17T14:03:00.000+08:00

Definition - unkempt, dirty and shabbily clothed urchin.

Sounds so much like me before Pa's eyes ... yup, I love that word.

grandparents and mom

2005-02-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

It got started with the pamphlet which Galv had prepared with so much tears being put into it and this remarks just popped into my head..

"I don't even know who my paternal and maternal grandparents were in my entire life!"

Seriously, my paternal grandparents died before I was born, my wai-po died after giving birth to my mom just before the Japanese Occupation in Singapore, my wai-gong disowned my mom which also means I got disowned by him too ... whoa! hmmm, interesting. Actually, I never asked about them too. :P Sometimes, I envy those who had the chance to be with, at least, one of their grandparents... well, can't blame anyone ... it's all part of God's plan and will.

And that brought me to think even deeper ... about my mom. My mom is definitely no weakling. Externally, she's getting frial but she's tough spiritually. Wai-Po left her after she was born, wai-gong did not like her for some reasons and I heard that he disowned her only after my mom married my dad. And after all the years passed, my mom tried to reconcile with wai-gong but he refused to bulge. I met my wai-gong once for just a minute or two but he did not acknowledge and at that time, I thought that all wai-gongs behaved that way because of seniority. Until the day he passed away, he was still unsaved, but my mom had long forgiven him. I have no grudges against him ... just felt sad that he had to leave like this.

On both seperation ocassions of wai-gong's and my dad's cremation, I was standing beside her watching the coffins being sholved into the incinerators, I could see that she was trying to cope with those losses and grief, though she didn't show it expressively. She just endured, took it with stride, pressed on ... she just surrendered all to God. And ever since then, she kept herself occupied with attending bible theology classes, ministries, leading CGs ...

Actually, she and I hardly spoke in most part of our lives. Can't blame her for that because of her responsiblity to look after my aged dad and hence, not at home most of the time. Also, it's my fault for not able to strike a proper long conversation with her and I'm still a handicap. Sounds more like a refusal instead.... sigh....

[prayer meeting]

Attended the prayer meeting at St James Church this evening... heard testimonies from Team 2 and Team 3, the sharing from two members who were there for 3 continuous weeks, the little mini-adventure from Team 3 who were there when the Tamil Tiger leader was assisinated... God really moved while they were there, touching many lives who then turned to the Lord, bringing smiles to the peoples' face wherever the teams went to ... very encouraging. Though the people were from different backgrounds, God handpicked them to be together - to work and to decide as a body, be humble, be submissive to the pastors and co-ordinators at the ground zero and not bossing around. I must really salute and thank God for the Pastors who were badly hit and affected by the Tsunami ... they lost all their family members and their belongings, but yet, they continued to go all their way out without much rest to serve other people who were also affected by the same calamities.

And for the first time, I got to meet Auntie Norma Lam, a 60 something grandmother, who was involved as, part of the "Project Peace Iran", the on-site project manager on a fruit distribution project to the people of Bam for over a period of 3 months. Boy, she really knows how to encourage and motivate a sister who's still "seeking God's direction" to go forth. Actually, just by looking at her and knowing what she has done and shared, is already a real booster for anyone who wants to take the step of faith forward and be ready to grab the bag and leave when the trumpet call is sounded.

temporary tears

2005-02-16T10:29:00.000+08:00

EXTRACTED FROM DAILY BREAD - 16 FEB 2005

Author George MacDonald wrote, "God has come to wipe away our tears. He is doing it; He will have it done as soon as He can; and until He can He would have them flow without bitterness; to which end He tells us it is a blessed thing to mourn because of the comfort that is on its way."

While we wait for that comfort, we can be assured that God will not allow us to be tested beyond our ability to bear the trial. Every difficult circumstance is timed with exact precision. Every hard situation is screened through His perfect love. We will not suffer one moment more, nor will we suffer more intensely than is necessary. "To a close-shorn sheep God gives wind by measure" goes an old Basque saying. In other words, God will not allow those most vulnerable to life's difficulties to be overtaken by them.

There may be deep waters through which you must wade; there may be fires through which the ore of your character must pass. But in the midst of them God promises to be your partner, companion, and faithful friend. He will "perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you" (1 Peter 5:10).

And then, when He has finished His work, He will take you home to heaven and wipe away all your tears—forever (Revelation 21:4). —David Roper

He knows our burdens and our crosses,
Those things that hurt, our trials and losses;
He cares for every soul that cries—
God wipes the tears from weeping eyes. —Brandt

Tears are often the telescope by which we can see into heaven.

i hear leesha

2005-02-15T14:42:00.000+08:00

by Michael W Smith

Seems like it was only yesterday
She was living here
Yea, she was living here
Lord knows why He's taken her away
It isn't very clear, no it isn't very clear
Into every life a little rain must fall
And losing one you love is like a storm
But storms are passing

Chorus:
I hear Leesha
Singing in heaven tonight
And in between the sadness
I hear Leesha
Telling me that she's alright

Life goes on even after life
That's what I believe
Yea, that's what I believe
Leesha's gone, but she will still survive
In a memory that I'm keeping here with me
Silencing the voice of mortal tradgedy
Listening to whispers of the soul
All is peaceful

Chorus

Just replace the name Leesha with someone whom you loved and who is no longer around...

Yes, she's singing in Heaven tonight ... telling you that she is all right.

recollection

2005-02-14T00:26:00.000+08:00

(christabel)

Welcome to the world, little baby Christabel !

Must say congrats to Barnaby and Shannon for their new-born daughter who decided to emerge into this cold dark world in the evening on the day 1 of Lunar New Year. Saw the baby at their home after Service today and oh my, she looks so much like Barn when he was a baby ... :P

Ps John and Auntie Grace are now the happy grandparents, while Mattathias ... well, he has just been promoted to the rank of uncle.

(saturday)

Well, same old routine as previous Saturday. Training in the morning, CG in the afternoon and Youth service in the evening. That morning, Bee Ling recommended "A Tales Of Three Kings" by Gene Edwards which was a study in brokenness. The focal point was King David who was anointed by God to be king but his road towards the kingship was a long hard one, especially when he was under Saul ... and through all the ordeals he had to preservere, out came the beautiful psalms which flowed out from his heart. Why would David had to go through such ordeals ? Perhaps ... it was necessary in God's eyes .. to mould David ? to demonstrate that out of such situations that God could make something beautiful to appear?

Don't really know how to describe the worship that evening, but I could just be getting a glimpse of what brokenness was all about ... Imagine your are in a kneeling with head down and eyes closed, and suddenly, flashback of your past (both happy and painful ones) just came zapping across your eyes and a big hand that reaches out before you ... and you could hear this words echoing in your heart - "You may not know why you had to be born into this path of life, but I do. You may had gone through ups and downs, problems, situations ... but don't you see this hand of Mines that has led you to where you are now ... kneeling down and worshipping before Me? I had journeyed with you thus far, and I will journey with you all the way home ... I had loved and will always love you ... I had never abandoned and will never abandon you". Don't think I will elaborate what happened next ... but my glasses and the carpet floor were really wet. And for the rest of the evening, I wasn't really myself though I didn't really show it out.... but that was really His touch .. His reaffirmation ...

Oh .. the Love of God.

(Sunday)

Yes! found the book "A Tales of Three Kings" at Woodlands Regional Library. Only one copy in the whole NLB's collection and I got to borrow it first. :P

And Yes, it was a good time with Mattyflower, Matty's galfren, Ah Ray and Galv @ Matty's house. Had a chance to flip through the 50th Anniversary Catholic High yearbook. Saw most of my teachers in there and somehow brought back memories again ... wonder how they are doing now ? still alive?

But really, thanks a lot, Matty ... for the warm hospitality and the food. Food's really good and don't worry, I did not suffer any lao-sai bug.

Finally, got to hear Galv's "LIVE" singing with the git. WOOT!

And yes yes ... got to spend time with Galv at BPP for lunch, and at Lido for "Hotel Rwanda" screening. Though we could not meet often to spend time together and for me to hear you out ... I guessed it's the absence that makes the heart grow fonder (... and that also applies to meeting up with Ah Ray and Mattyflower). To see what you are doing in TMS/TMSC is really encouraging ... you have become a "spurring tool" whom God uses to spur my butt on... see how Pa uses gez to jolt and zap gpp ? :). And I really gave up on you with all the "salt and pepper" you had been rubbing on me during the lunch session. I really have no heart to "parcel" you and Isaac up and send both of you to the penguins in South Pole. I don't know who's going to be your GMM ... well, one day, God will reveal, if there's going to be one.

(valentine's day)

As usual, no dates on this valentines' day ... but I know Pa couldn't wait to date me :P.

Happy Valentine's Day / Friendship Day to everyone out there.

reallocation

2005-02-11T01:20:00.000+08:00

Channel NewsAsia, 8 Feb edition - ... leader of the political wing of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) for the eastern province, was shot dead with four senior colleagues while they were travelling in the coastal district of Batticaloa on Monday night.

Had an emergency meeting this afternoon at Church of the True Light. Kelvin and gang updated everyone who were present, on the current political unrest which happened on Monday night. In view of such hugh uncalculated risks, the current Team 3 who are there, had to be pulled out of Batticaloa back to Colombo ... and it was also decided that deployment of Team 4 which would be due to leave tomorrow, and Team 5 have to be cancelled and reallocated to Team 6 or Team 7. That means another round of admin arrangement for me ... but it's to be expected, such things are just part and parcel of the work. Prayer meeting @ St James Church on next Wednesday evening ... Team 3 will be back to share their experience and update the ground situation there.

Bee Ling's open house was like a wet-market, pasar malam ... not only in terms of numbers but the noise level .. as if a hugh bunch of old ladies were trying to bargain $10 items down to 10 cents. And how on earth did the 2 Elizabeths and Zacky gang up to be match-makers? Excuse me ? Of all the people .... SHE ? PLEASEEEEEEEE LAH !!!

Caught "I DO I DO" at CCK with the chubbier Elizabeth ... in fact, I DO I DO regret watching it !!! Not that the show's not funny or entertaining, but she kept on reminding me that I bore too much resemblence to a character in the movie. Oh, pleaseeeeee. And she got a real "bargain" for the $8.50 ticket - a "I DO I DO" screening and a free "hanky panky" performance by a young couple who sat next to her which lasted almost as long as the show's runtime ... and she got so irritated by them that she kept pestering me to change seats ... bwahahaha... nope, I did not change with her ... NO WAY!!!

musical tag

2005-02-08T15:41:00.000+08:00

BOINNNNNNK !..... OUCCCCCCCH. Galv's stick landed on my head.

Random 10
1. Feng Zheng Chen Sheng
2. Fly Away Corrinne May
3. Elijah Rich Mullins
4. Above All Else Ah Galv
5. Place In This World Michael W Smith
6. Lin Wu Winnie Tsin
7. Wo Wang Zhe Jing Zhong Di Ni Liang Wenfu
8. Feng Yu Wu Zhu Emil Chau
9. Bei Yun Huang Lei
10. Mercy River Rhonda Gunn

What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
A pathetic figure of 3.6GB

The last CD you bought is
Fly Away by Corrine May. Found this album @ Gramophone record shop at Capitol after don't-know-how-many months of searching.

What is the last song you listened to before this message?
World On Fire Sarah McLachlan

Write down five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you.
1. Brokenness by David Meece. In my brokenness, In my hour of darkness, I will lift my hands
and worship You....
2. Majesty (Here I Am) by Delirious... humbled by His Majesty, covered by His grace so free, covered by the blood of the Lamb....
3. Above All Else by Ah Galv... Somehow, I always find myself emotionally choked at the chorus.
4. Feng Zheng by Chen Sheng. one of the "definitely-must-sing" during k-ok sessions with my frens.
5. Friends by Michael W. Smith... the piano version with Amy Grant. It was through this song that I got to know about Michael W Smith, back in 1985.

Who are you gonna pass this stick to?
Isaac (Zacky), Gibs, Callan, Hiong .. that is, if you guys are ever free to do this.

(happy CNY)

Yup .. time of the year has come. For the kids, this the season to make money ... from the ang-paos they are going to get from parents, aunties and uncles. Hahaha.. I'm overqualified for that stuff already. :P

A Happy and Blessed Chinese New Year to all of you !!!

tsunami relief update - sri lanka

2005-02-08T09:55:00.000+08:00

Got this article from Diocese's website..

Brief Update from Return of First Crisis Relief Team

Yesterday afternoon (Sunday, 30th January, 4.30 pm) our first team of crisis relief volunteers (working as part of CRS, Crisis Relief Society) returned after a ten day stint in Sri Lanka. They were divided into two sub-teams. One of the sub-team was at Galle, where the work involved recreational activities, which is a form of therapy, for the displaced children. The other sub-team went to Batticaloa.

In Batticaloa, the team’s primary task was packing food supplies in family-sized portions (for 1,500 families which is about 6000 people)** and distributing the food packs. The team had reported that there is a need for doctors at Batticaloa. The team leader told us that the only doctor and nurse in their team had to treat 90 patients on one of the days!

(This effort to feed 6000 persons was decided by CRS and our diocesan crisis relief representative, Michael Teh, after their study visit to Sri Lanka three weeks ago. This relief is being done in partner-ship with Rev Dr Leslie Keegel, President of the Four Square Church, Dr Ajith Fernando, President of Youth for Christ Sri Lanka, and Dr Arul Anketell, President of Healthcare Christian Fellowship.)

Our second team of volunteers left with CRS last Friday, 28 January, to replace the first team.

Further Details of the Relief Effort

As our commitment to this work will stretch for the next three months we need more volunteers and funds. Every week we need twelve volunteers. They leave on Friday, on a late evening flight to Colombo and will return the following Sunday in the afternoon.

We need your help to encourage members of your parish / congregations to volunteer!

The budget for the three month’s worth of crisis relief effort is $263,250. We continue to praise the Lord for the generous monetary gifts received so far. Kindly encourage your members to continue to give generously. If your church have already collected funds for the crisis relief, please send that to the Diocesan Office as soon as possible.

Not all the money collected is being channeled to relief in Sri Lanka. We will apportion money to other areas of need as well, especially when the possibility of direct relief in Aceh opens. A Gereja Anglikan Indonesia team would be in Aceh next week to look at the need for longer term relief.

For the Information of Would-Be Volunteers to Sri Lanka

The information below will be helpful for your church members thinking of joining a relief team.
1. Teams leave every Friday (late evening) and return the following Sunday.
2. Cost per volunteer: S$771 ($370-airfare + $33-tax + $68-insurance + $300-ground cost)
3. Vaccinations required (Typhoid + Tetanus jabs; Cholera + Malaria oral medications) two weeks before departure - Cost to be borne by volunteers.
4. Volunteers are required to be interviewed and briefed prior to participation.

We thank God that we can count on you in the Diocese’s effort in crisis relief work. As you share in this endeavor, we praise God we can work together to bring glory to His name. To God be the Glory.

Chew Boon Ann
Missions Secretary
Diocese of Singapore

** This effort to feed 6000 Sri Lankans, represents less than even one tenth of one percent of the 550,000 Sri Lankans displaced from their homes. (Figures from BBC NEWS, dated 25 January 2005)

lena maria

2005-02-08T01:21:00.000+08:00

Her full name is Lena Maria Klingvall. Born in the year 1968 in Sweden, what sets her apart from other people is that she was born without any arms, except one healthy leg and the other one still underdeveloped. Yet, she did not complain or waste her life away in bitterness and depression. She leveraged on her one healthy leg and the other underdeveloped leg to learn and to get on with her life. Now, she's happily married, she cooks as well as any other fellow men, she paints, she types on her laptop, she sews, she exercises, she eats etc etc... All with the help of her leg. "At age 18, she entered the National Swedish Games where she won three silver medals making her a star-athlete over night and earning her a place on the national team. Many competitions followed. Lena Maria set two national records in the 25-meter and 50-meter butterfly events. The highlight of her swimming career was the Paralympic Games in Seoul, South Korea" - as extracted from Internet. She's also a professional singer, resonating hymns and praises to God with her beautiful voice, touching many lives wherever she performs. She's widely known as "the girl who flies with her legs".

Really had this great and rare privilege and opportunity of watching her life story, which is a mandarin evangelistic video produced by Passing On Mission (Taiwan), on the PC monitor in the waiting area while waiting for my turn to see the doc at the Missions Medical Clinic. I was so encouraged and moved by her strong will and her unwavering trust and faithfulness in God, despite of the severe phsyical disabilities. Some of us, when faced with a small setback, would probably just complain that life had been very unfair and comtemplate suicide if they were to be in a ultra-depressed mode. I wouldn't dare to discount myself from that category too. I got myself thinking again ... whatever setbacks I had gone through in life are nothing compared to what she has personally gone through and experienced ... they are nothing compared to what Christ has done for us on the Calvary.

God can use his servants who are handicapped, and make them strong .... to display to the world His glory and power, His unending love and compassion.

The doc is quite a nice and fun person to talk to and he's also quite a joker. He has a heart for missions and he would go out whenever opportunities arise. After going through my "WHO's vaccination cert" ... actually it's a logbook which was issued at TTSH and records down all the vaccinations I had taken to date. Since I had taken most of the jabs, I just need to get myself vaccinated from two pesky bugs - Malaria and Cholera. Doc was asking me if I was suffering from depression or easily depressed and the reason for asking was ".. going there is already so depressing, taking Mefloquine for Malaria may just make you even more depressing". AHHHHHHH!!!!! Thanks for your encouragement, man! hahahaha. Anyway, I just took it - 5 doses only - and I had actually taken this before... so far so good. But for Cholera vaccination, it's my first time doing so (as far as I can remember) and it will keep me vaccinated for a period of 3 years. But, here's the catch - the Cholera vaccintion is in oral form and I had to take 2 doses of vaccine "given subcutaneously or intramuscularly separated by a period of at least I week" at the clinic. After consuming it, I had to abstain myself from oily food, chilli food stuff, diary products for 3 hours - which is as good as I forget about my dinner, because by the time I can eat, it will be 1.30am in the morning. Darn! I'm hungry now ...

Now, I had to return to the clinic again next Tuesday for the 2nd dose... but the good thing is that I need not pay a single cent. :)

And yes! This is the first time I took a train on NE Line from HarbourFront all the way to Kovan MRT. Coming this Friday, I will have that honour of riding all the way to Punggol MRT to visit Ps Bee Ling's nest... and no, she's not giving away any ang-paos at all.

tekan

2005-02-07T17:32:00.000+08:00

Just gena arrowed and tekan by 6 ladies to carry the chairs out from the Store Room to the Auditorium for combined Division's CNY celebration. Yah, I was the only thorn amongst all these wild roses who were also the organisers of this event. The other guys in my office were smart enough to take cover - on leave lah, on off-in-lieu lah, on site lah. Well, never mind, take this as an exercise and opportunity to get some fats off before all the bak gua tops them up later. And the reward at the end of shifting these chairs - one mandarin orange. Hmmmmmph....

hahahaha... :P

Half way through the tekan session, Karol shared with me on a video she saw recently in Church. It was shot by a medical team who went to Sri Lanka for tsunami relief work. There was an interview with a lady who was a non-Christian and after working with the kids, seeing how these kids laugh and play after the disaster and while picking up their lives again .... she said that Singapore is truly a nation really blessed by God. Then she broke down and cried.

Have we still been taking this blessing for granted ?

They are still requiring volunteers to go out there to rebuild the land, to touch lives... who's still keen to go out ?

clickers

2005-02-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

Clickers wanted. Worship teams love them very much. Not much to do except clicking the powerpoint slides away. Sounds like no big deal, but they have an important task to perform and that is to click the correct slides so that they are projected onto the wall for the congregation to read and sing along during praise and worship.

Serving God doesn't mean that you have to be leading worship or cell groups. Ushering is a form of serving and worship, behind-the-admin-counter duty is a form of serving and worship, serving drinks to visitors or members at hospitality corners is also a form of serving and worship. God honours these "backstage" servants as much as leaders too. You don't have to do big things to glorify God. Be faithful in the little things you can do to serve Him and He will be glorified.

Maybe that's why I still like my PA duty in Woodlands ... come in quietly and early in the morning to set up the equipments and sneak off quietly after the service is over and all the packings have completed. At least, I know the monkeys won't climb over and poo-poo on my head that morning. :P

[haircut and shopping]

Finally, got my hair cut and did a last minute Giodarno shopping spree at Chinatown's OG. At least, I got the opportunity to squeeze with the crowd and familiarise with my Nikon DSLR camera. The outputs were sucky as usual, just blame it on my shaky hands.

[briefing]

Just received an email. I think the people in the programme are singles and still available, otherwise they won't be scheduling a briefing on 14 Feb at SJSM church. No impact on me at all ... which young and chio char-bor in their right mind, would want to go out with this old man ? ... BWAHAHAHAHA .. :P

posted

2005-02-04T13:19:00.000+08:00

Finally, I sent out this package out during lunch hours after a few weeks delay. Sent via registered mail and it should arrive at the destination either tomorrow or latest by Monday. Sorry for taking such a long time, man. Hopefully, it will reach you in time to greet you with a blessed CNY.

And for the first time, I played a "singles" santa claus giving out red packs.

Just received Jen's email. She's sick again. Other than ministry time, she had been sleeping. Can't blame her, the weather in Japan is freezing cold. Last night "was so cold that I had to skip my conversation Japanese class as the wind is strong on normal days along the road I walk to the class. .... I felt the chill the moment I stepped out of the train, I have not even reach that road yet. I reckon better go home in case I get another cold. Thank God that despite the heavy snow storm in the rest of Japan (even Kyushu), Tokyo and my area gets the sun!!! But it is cold because it is so windy!!!"

For the first time, she's going to visit onsen later in the afternoon, hoping to get better from her cold.

(long4 chia1 session - number 2)

The previous instructor was right. Half of tonight's drive was on the roads, going around Bt Batok and CCK area. The horrendous task I had to do was to drive the car from extreme right lane and cut to the extreme left lane at a speed of near 70km/h and without hitting the cars which are busy speeding past on my left. Obviously, they didn't give a dang on L-plate drivers. Until now, three areas I really dislike driving around are Bt Batok Road - Bt Batok West Ave 5 junction, CCK Road - CCK Way junction and CCK Road - Teck Whye Ave junction. After so many years, the traffic situation at those three areas are still constantly heavy flowing.

Tried another 3 booklets of Final Theory questions in the CAI classroom and I passed all the three. Dang, I should not have changed the session from Final Theory Evaluation to Final Theory Practice. I could have got through it and I could book for Final Theory Test in March.

Hur hur ... still yet to finish preparing the sharing materials for tomorrow's CG. Cham lah .. so much things to settle but so little time.

3 feb 05 snapshot

2005-02-03T14:28:00.000+08:00

(morning)

I was in DTT Auditorium for an internal seminar and in midst of dozing off, my HP vibrated and got me out of the la-la land. Before I could utter "but, but, uh ....", my tongue got tied up real badly and I was bombarded with info:

- two briefings to attend,
- be prepared for flexibility,
- get ready for counselling tasks in the wee hours of the night.

Me ? Counselling ? I thought she must be joking! But after returning to my seat in the auditorium, these words came to mind "just be available. period." Ok, I got what You mean.

For now, I'll just leave the matter as it is.

(lunch)

After the seminar, the attendees got free buffet lunch cum loh-hei outside the Auditorium and I was joining my old gang (with kimhong) at one of the tables for the loh-hei. It was a plate full of stuff (shredded carrots, reddish, salmon fish slices, mandarin oranges and other condinments, etc etc etc), ended up with half the stuff being scattered all over the table, the floor and our clothings after the 15 of us finishing tossing the food from mid-air with our chopsticks. Oh man, talking about picking up the crumbs under the table.

(strangling session)

Uncle Jimmy caught me during the internal seminar's tea break. He "strangled" me in front of his other colleague, saying "You were dating my daughter that night, is it?".. Huh? yuan1 wang4 ah!! hahaha. He was referring to that bdae dinner outing with Barbz and the whole chain gang @ Essential Brew and TCC at Holland V. And thank you very much ah, barbz, for telling your daddy.

To be continued ... if any.

(many hours later ...)

Nah .. nothing to continue, other than having the need to prepare songs and sharing for cell this Saturaday.

Got this thought-provoking article through email... very real, very true indeed.

Start A Revolution In Church (Dr Jeff Lee)

There is a lot of pressure in ministry to conform, not to change or make waves. We favor tradition and hold sacred many practices. It is fair to say that church people are accustomed to rituals, afraid to break with what they are used to week after week.

The Bible records this revolutionary event in Antioch; in which ministry approach and target audience were completely altered. The result was so blessed by God and historical in every sense.

Some of the Lord's followers had been scattered because of the terrible trouble that started when Stephen was killed. They went as far as Phoenicia, Cyprus, and Antioch, but they told the message only to the Jews. Some of the followers from Cyprus and Cyrene went to Antioch and started telling Gentiles the good news about the Lord
Jesus. The Lord's power was with them, and many people turned to the Lord and put their faith in him. (Acts 11:19 - 21)

While most believers were still and only reaching out to people of their own race, a small group of those who had lived overseas took the opportunity in crossing the
cultural and ethnic barrier.

Challenge the authority? No. Challenge my limited idea of how God works. Start a revolution, not in church, but in me. Break tradition; break the way I think God must operate. Challenge convention and see how the Holy Spirit works.

long4 chia1 session

2005-02-03T02:01:00.000+08:00

Finally, I returned to my long4 chia1 session this evening and in case you are wondering what I am talking about, it's just means - "crash car" in Hokkien or the diplomatically correct term is "driving lesson".

After abstaining myself from the wheels for slightly more than 2 years (I actually come to realise that after looking carefully at my training log book just this evening. :P) ... ok, call me lazy if you want to, I'm forcing myself to complete this long outstanding task at BBDC. For that next 100 minutes between 7.50pm to 9.30pm, the instructor was really patient enough to help me recap what I've learnt previously. Seriously, I was kind of anxious because I thought I had forgotten everything, but thankfully, I managed to clear all the "obstacles" in the circuit and coming next lesson, I'll be steering on the public road. But the same nightmare which I experienced then, had returned tonight- my wobbly right foot, which would just shake or vibrate violently whenever I was trying to step and control the accelerator or brakes. It was as if there was intermittent blood flow through that foot or it was suffering from some spiritual manifestations (duh.... no lah, just joking), and the whole car just went on dancing a hippity-hop. No wonder all other vehicles quickly steered clear from me. I didn't know what to do but all I could do was praying in my heart - "Help me, PA! I don't want to crash into another car or a tree and end up in the morturary". Thankfully again, the hippity-hop dance lasted for only a minute or two after lesson commenced. Don't ask me why did it happen .. I just don't have the answers at all.

The big boo-boo I need to settle now - my Final Theory Test which I need to retake because the previous one expired last August (... DARN!). So, after the circuit training, I went to do a Final Theory Practice which I had booked online in advance, in one of the classrooms. It was the most malu moment for me - I sat down in front of the terminal, and I discovered that the mouse was missing and the keyboard was "kept" with the CPU .. and I was like "DUH...? HOW TO PRACTICE WITHOUT MOUSE OR KEYBOARD" for ONE WHOLE MINUTE. Then, I noticed a lady who sat in front of my table, was hammering away on the LCD monitor, then I realised the monitor is a touchscreen monitor ... WAH LIEW ! People started their practice and evaluation and I was fiddling at the table and figuring out how to go about the practice... Oh man ! I felt like a super mountain-tortise. This super-humiliating and embarrasing moment shall stay here and not depart from this blog. I did two sets of papers... and I flunked them all ... Ok, that's it, back to the theory book again.

Pa, help me to get this done once and for all...

you2 tiao2

2005-02-01T14:53:00.000+08:00

Shiok, man! Now dipping You Tiao or Butterfly into my 3rd cup of coffee and nibbling them off bit by bit while doing my report at my desk. Hmmmmmmm ... this is simply heavenly. BURRRRRRP! Oh dear, I burp so loud ... me so rude.

That also means another dunno-how-many kilograms of fats I'm going to put on later ... :P. Well, I asked for it, didn't I ?

[Typhim VI]

Ok.. according to my vaccination log book, I was given Typhim VI in Nov 2003. That will last me for 3 years before my next jab ... and there's no effective cholera vaccinations available, other than oral mode ... so the only thing I need to acquire is Mefloquine.

Mefloquine ? Again ?

legacy

2005-02-01T10:38:00.000+08:00

Busy and tired as usual, and working life is as per normal for any working adults like me... other than some ocassional interesting challenges, work is still work though monotonous, mundane and routine it may be, and I just have to get it done since I'm in it. Still constantly reminding myself that whatever I'm doing, I do it for Pa's glory.

Being quite "good" at stumbling across stuff from the web or books lately. Not sure if it is coincidental or Pa's timing or what, but, they are waking me up from my la-la land or comfort, or just opening up my mind to look at issues or stuff from a totally new and different perspectives. Ok, if you don't know what I'm blahhing about, well ... neither do I because my brain is still on semi-shutdown mode... ahahaha..

Found a website which was quoting the words of Rich Mullins from a bio-documentary video. Quite motivated by what he said here and it's not the first time actually. Most of his songs had been ministering and inspiring to me for more than a decade, and they just somehow kept drawing my heart back to God. In a way, God uses those songs as one of His tools to keep me on track.

"I hope I would leave a legacy of Joy and real compassion. Because I believe that there is a great joy in compassion. I don't think you can know joy apart from caring deeply about people. Caring enough about people that you actually do something.

But I have a feeling, if my life is motivated by my ambition to leave a legacy, what I probably will leave is a legacy of ambition. But if my life is motivated by the power of Spirit in me, if I live in the awareness of the in-dwelling Christ, if I allow His presence to guide my actions and to guide my motives, then, that is the only time we will really leave a great legacy.

That which is born of the flesh is flesh. That which is born of the spirit is spirit. My ambition to be a good guy is a fleshly ambition and when Christ calls us to take up our cross and follow Him for a lot of us what that means is to lay down our vices and cling to our virtue. Unless God is Lord of our virtue, our virtue becomes dangerous to us and dangerous to the people around us. I think - that when Christ tells us to take up our cross - what He means is that not only die to what ever vices that are in your life, which He will eventually kill out, but also die to what ever virtues that are in your life.

Your life is not valuable because you are a great speaker, your life is not valuable because you are a generous person, your life is not valuable because any of that. If we empty ourselves of everything and allow God to be present, then it is no longer us, it's Him and then it becomes a spiritual thing. Then whatever is born of spirit is spirit and that's when I think Christianity really begins to make sense."

(Taken from Rich Mullins' Pursuit of a Legacy - Video)

[4 weeks]

Yah, I accidentally stumbled across another stuff ... this time is HPD's site. There it says - Typhoid vaccine (injection or capsules): 4 weeks before departure. Huh ? 4 weeks ? SEOW AH !!! Darn, I cannot even recall if I had those vaccinations previously. Never mind, sort that out later...

Decided to delink Galv's song for now so as not to choke his bandwidth. Read this -"for now", because ... I'll be BACK!!! Bwahahahaha... :P

BAD CHEWY! HOW CAN YOU BULLY GEZ AH ?

He is Yahweh (1000 Generations)
(Words and Music written by Dean Salyn, 2001 Vineyard Music)

Who is moving on the waters?
Who is holding up the moon?
Who is peeling back the darkness,
With the burning light of noon?
Who is standing on the mountains?
Who is on the earth below?
Who is bigger than the heavens,
And the lover of my soul?

Creator God: He is Yawheh
The Great I Am: He is Yawheh
The Lord of All: He is Yawheh
Rose of Sharon: He is Yawheh
The Righteous Son: He is Yawheh
The Three-in-one: He is Yawheh

Who is He that makes me happy?
Who is He that gives me peace?
Who is He that brings me comfort,
And turns the bitter into sweet?
Who is stirring up my passion?
Who is rising up in me?
Who is filling up my hunger,
With everything I need?

Creator God: He is Yawheh
The Great I Am: He is Yawheh
The Lord of All: He is Yawheh
Rose of Sharon: He is Yawheh
The Righteous Son: He is Yawheh
The Three-in-one: He is Yawheh

You are holy and eternal
And forever You will reign
Every knee will bow before You
Every tongue will confess Your name
All the angels give You glory
As they stand before Your throne
And here on earth we gather
To declare Your name alone…

retrospect

2005-01-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

Had some time to retrospect in the evening - how I ended up back in looking after the P6 kids again, how I ended up back in the youth ministry again. How long I'm going to be in this track, how things are going to turn out eventually, I really do not know and I don't need to worry about that because He knows and He has to lead me on.

I can say that Pa is responsible for orchestrating everything in my life, and nope, I'm not blaming Him at all .. in fact, I'm just thankful for that.

And if I were to trace back to the source, how everything began, which led me back to the youth work again after I last "retired" five years ago ... Pa probably did just one thing to start the whole chain reaction going - He just pointed my heart to this place which I stumbled across accidentally on one fine day, about one and a half years ago.

To the author of that "place" - you never knew how Pa actually used young people, the new rising Joshuas, like you, to "turn" the heart of this old man around. Till now, I still feel very unworthy and undeserving to be addressed by you with the three letters you concocted. But you and your family will always have a very special place in my heart. Always remember, "you can fly so high, keep your gaze upon the sky, I'll be praying every step along the way". Thank you .. thank you .. and yes, thank You too. :)

post-reflection

2005-01-29T01:03:00.000+08:00

Event - Fever04 Hotbuzz and Fever05 Launch

Venue and Time - Touch Community Theatre, 7.30pm

Before Ps Seaward spoke, the Love East Timor video was shown on the wall. It's a very young country, like a child without parents. The people are in dire need for work and education to meet their basic needs, to build the nation from scratch.

Then, Ps Seaward brought the congregation through the feeding of 5000 from another perspective ... the perpective of the disciples' reluctance to feed. There was this tone of "ah? why me? cannot lah? dun want lah..." in their hearts when Jesus told them to feed the crowd.

They felt that it was not their responsibility to feed.
They felt that they were not ready, the hour was too late to do anything.
They felt it was difficult to feed the 5000 with 5 loaves with 2 fishes.

AH HA ! Call this God's tactics of "cornering" His people, if you like. He showed the needs of the people in East Timor to His people and left it to their hearts, the new Joshuas, to decide, stand up and go forth. It's not a matter of how much resources we have or how limited our strength may be, but whether we are willing to surrender what we have and our limitations onto His hands. It's a matter of making ourselves available as His instruments and when we do that, He will work and manifest His glory through you.

[headlines...]

1015pm ... "RJC STUDENT JAYWALKED WITHOUT USING OVERHEAD BRIDGE OUTSIDE THE HAWKER CENTRE AT BRICKWORKS ESTATE"

1045pm ... "RJC STUDENT JAYWALKED FOR THE SECOND TIME WITHOUT USING OVERHEAD BRIDGE OUTSIDE THE HAWKER CENTRE AT BRICKWORKS ESTATE"

These headlines will never make it to the news ticker on Channel NewsAsia, but still, kind of fun "suanning" Isaac who was in his RJC uniform while crossing the road for dinner at ABC Market after the Hotbuzz, and back to the bus stop after dinner. Hahahaha... :P

busy

2005-01-28T14:37:00.000+08:00

After updating the UrbanRace calender into my diary and looking at it again ... my course work, my office and NDP05 duties, my driving lessons, my involvement with the little wheels of terrors and PA duty in CCW, the CGL training, the planned-to-attend Condensed World Missions Course, and the "arrowed" 10-day programme commencing in 3 weeks time ... I'm going to be in for another roller-coaster ride for February and March.

No wonder my brain CPU shuts down easily nowadays. No wonder, at night, I tend to doze off easily in front of my PC just 10 minutes after loggin in. **tired**

So much things to do and yet so little time ... overhaul my brain and multiply my time EXPONENTIALLY, Pa !